


This Clan of Hamatos

by EchoKazul



Series: This Clan of Hamatos [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (IDW Comics), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: 'The Talk', Brotherly Bonding, Dealing with Father in Laws, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Slice of Life, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, Unexpected Pregnancy, Wedding Fluff, emotional issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-03-10 09:32:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13499246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoKazul/pseuds/EchoKazul
Summary: Leo had come to realize one singular truth in his journey as the leader of the Hamato Clan.Effective leadership was comprised of one part knowledge and common sense, two parts instinct and intuition, three parts dedication and hard work, and four parts of just inwardly flailing about while outwardly acting like you knew exactly what the heck you were doing.





	1. Morning Routines

Breath in.

Breath out.

Concentrate on the cool air inhaled through the nose.

Feel the warmth as he exhaled slowly through the mouth.

As Leonardo’s meditation deepened, he could feel his ki build up, then settle heavily through his body, as tranquil as a calm lake’s water. As deep blue as the mask on his face.

Breath in.

Breath out.

The lair was at peace. His family was at peace. He was at peace.

Letting his ki reach out slightly, Leo could feel Splinter’s spirit kneeling beside him, and he took silent comfort in the warm, quiet presence. His father would not abandon his family, even in death.

Since Leonardo’s youngest days, he had been aware of the fact that one day he would lead his family. It had always seemed like a natural role for him, and it was a weight that he was glad to shoulder, although he had always thought that the full burden wouldn’t be fully placed on his scarred shell until after decades of gleaning wisdom and advice at their father’s side. Sadly, such a luxury as a proper education in leadership was not to be. Their father Hamato Yoshi, had been murdered by the Shredder six years ago, and at the tender age of seventeen, Leonardo had become Clan Leader.

While over the years he had gained a greater appreciation for the quiet strength and wisdom he had observed in his father, and had come to realize that maybe, juuuust maybe, Captain Ryan was full of bullshit (not that he’d ever admit that to Raph, Space Heroes was still a guilty pleasure he indulged in), Leo was left rely mostly on his own wits and instincts to keep his family alive, safe, and thriving.

In his years of leading the Hamato Clan, Leo had come to realize one, singular truth.

Effective leadership was comprised of one part knowledge and common sense, two parts instinct and intuition, three parts dedication and hard work, and four parts of just inwardly flailing about while outwardly acting like you knew what the heck you were doing.

He only hoped that his brothers and family wouldn’t suffer too much as he fumbled around blindly in the dark, trying to figure out the ins and outs of the leadership role thrust upon him.

* * *

It was only six pm, but the sounds of his home waking up were just starting. It was one of his favorite sounds to listen to. One thing about living a nocturnal lifestyle was that, for his clan, early afternoon was the same as pre dawn hours for the rest of the world.

Leonardo was almost always the first one awake, going through his early ‘evening’ routine silently as not to disturb the others. After neatly folding up his futon and bedding, he would silently make his rounds through the lair, taking comfort and reassuring himself that all his clan were safe and whole. Satisfied that all was well, he would go through the necessary morning hygiene rituals, then head to the dojo, where he would light incense and make a small offering and prayer at the family shrine. Then after running through his chosen katas to stretch and fully awaken his muscles, he would settle down and begin his meditations, waiting for the rest of the lair to awaken.

Nowadays, Raph was usually the first one to awaken after Leo, although it was not voluntary. Chompy’s little growling chirps would grow more and more insistent, until finally, grumbling under his breath, Raph would roll out of his hammock and stumble around his room to sleepily feed him. Leo could faintly hear him talking to the small baby Vorkathian fire tortoise in an uncharacteristically fond and gentle tone, almost akin to baby talk. Then, his unusual pet cared for, he would leave his room to head to the shower before the others could take it over.

Before Chompy had joined them, Mikey used to be the early riser. The youngest turtle had boundless energy, and seemed to have only two modes, on and off. One minute, he was snoring soundly, and then suddenly, he was awake. Just like that. He would hum happily through his own ‘wake-up’ routine, which involved some jumping on the bed and backflips, then, once he heard a sibling awaken (such as Raph), he would sneak out to see what mischief he could get up while said sibling was still sleepy and vulnerable. Leo was still debating on whether to put an end to that particular routine or not. On one hand, it would cause the target sibling (such as Raph) to begin the day at the receiving end of some prank, like an ice cube in the shell or glitter in the shower loofah, and that usually led to violence and bodily harm and general grumpiness. On the other hand, as a ninja, Leo firmly believed that one should be prepared to react to anything, and it was partially Raph’s own fault that he kept falling for these pranks. He should honestly be expecting them by now! If Leo didn’t know any better, he would almost think that Raph was purposefully letting Mikey prank him, just to give him an excuse to chase him down and slug him a few times. And if _that_ were the case, who was Leo to stand in the way of such brotherly displays of affection? Anyways, after burning off some excess energy one way or another, eventually, Mikey would find his way to the kitchen, and enthusiastically start cooking breakfast for everybody.

Until their human friends had moved in, traditionally Donatello had always been the last to rise, usually because he had stayed up too late the day before in the lab. In the past, Leo had to go in and physically drag him out of bed to join the rest of the waking world, although until he finally nursed his way through at least a few refills of his coffee mug, his groggy and sluggish state could hardly be referred to as ‘awake’. Since he and April had started sharing a room, however, he had gotten somewhat better about his sleeping habits. Most mornings, he actually managed to stumble out in time for breakfast, with April fondly guiding him into the kitchen from close behind.

Casey was usually the last one to emerge from his bedroom, formerly the old guest room, and he only ever emerged because Leo had insisted on everybody being present for breakfast. After multiple alarm clocks had failed to convince Casey to get out of bed, Donnie had (somewhat gleefully), engineered a mechanical contraption that, after half an hour of his alarm going off, would cause his bed to literally tip over and dump him on the floor, before righting itself once more. They all figured that it would be fine, as all the piles of dirty clothes he left on the floor more then cushioned his landing. The messy state of that room was something of a compromise between Leo and Casey. As long as Casey made a reasonable effort not to mess up the rest of the lair, and as long as his room didn’t emit an odor repugnant enough to offend even sewer dwellers’ noses, Leo would do his best to ignore the landfill that was Casey’s bedroom. That was another lesson he had learned regarding leadership; how to carefully to pick his battles. The young man had a... complicated relationship with his father, to put it politely, and Casey eventually was left with the choice of either the turtles taking him in, or sleeping on the streets. For the Hamatos, it was an obvious choice, though Leo and Casey had a lot to work out together between them in the first few weeks regarding authority, house rules, degrees of cleanliness, and respecting the need for some personal freedoms.

The smell of breakfast began to waft up to the dojo as Mikey flipped pancakes expertly, no doubt letting them soar and practicing unconventional moves with the spatula. A thought flittered through Leo’s meditating mind to check his food for either floor or ceiling debris before eating. In a short time, he could hear that Raph had exited the shower and had made his way to sit at the kitchen table. Finally, there was the mechanical whir and sleepy yelp as Casey was dumped out of bed.

Well, meditation time was over. Time to go join his family.

* * *

 

“Leo! Morning, dude!” Mikey greeting him warmly as he walked into the kitchen. He spun a plate skillfully on one finger, flipped it behind his shell, and deftly caught it with his other hand, while at the same time twirling the spatula, then using it to send the pancakes on the griddle upwards through the air, only to catch them in a neat stack on the plate. He handed it off to Leo. “Breakfast is served, my big bro!”

“Good morning, Mikey. It looks delicious, thank you.” Leo nodded his thanks. He noticed that Mikey had once again added blueberries to his pancakes, somehow arranging them so that they were embedded in the shape of a smiley face. Over the years, Mikey had (thankfully) learned that cooking was more then just throwing foods he liked together, no matter how incompatible those individual items were, and then once he figured out that his family members actually had favorite tastes and different preferences for flavors, he seemed to make it his life’s goal to figure out what made everybody the happiest. Raphael’s pancakes had apples and cinnamon added, and Mikey was currently sprinkling chocolate chips into the next batch for Donnie.

Taking the plate of pancakes, Leo sat next to a maskless Raph, who passed him the little jar of blueberry syrup that he knew Leo would use without saying anything. He then went back to sulkily trying to unstitch the pink silk flowers that had been sewn on his mask earlier this morning by certain little brothers yet unnamed. Casey stumbled out of the bathroom up to the table a few minutes later and collapsed haphazardly into his chair, letting out a big yawn. The now-twenty four year old human was dressed only in a pair of hockey-themed boxers, showing off his very well toned muscles, with his long hair still wet from his shower, messily ruffled up from the quick attempt at towel drying.

Mikey reached over to pick up the plate of pancakes with bacon bits added to them, and, with a twist of his wrist, sent it spinning down the table like a frisbee to stop in directly front of their human friend. “Sorry Casey, my zombie man, but I double checked and, sadly, we’re fresh out of brains. Hope these will work for ya instead, brah.”

Casey mumbled a half-awake thanks, then started drowning his pancakes in syrup and butter.

The only ones not out yet were Donnie and April.

Leo closed his eyes and considered this as he chewed. On one hand, it was a ground rule that Master Splinter had set down, and one that Leo had strictly continued to adhere to, that all members of the clan met together for breakfast before morning training. Splinter had told Leo once that it promoted conversation and team bonding, letting everybody and get a feel for how the day was going to go and touch base with one another at the start of the day.

On the other hand, if April and Donnie were late because they were busy ‘touching base’ with one another, Leo really didn’t want to come across it. Granted, it wouldn’t be the first time, and they needed to know that rules needed to be followed, and it would definitely be another good lesson that they probably wouldn’t learn from to exercise more discretion. It was just... why did Leo always have to be the one to suffer for that?

Leo’s sapphire blue eyes flashed opened with concern when moments later, April burst out of Donnie’s bedroom and bolted down the hall to the bathroom, not even closing the door as she began to gag and heave over the toilet. Donnie stumbled after in after her, rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he knelt by her in concern. It was obvious that he had just been pulled out of a deep sleep.

“Whoa! Ape’s! Are you okay?!” Mikey quickly abandoned the skillet and rushed over with the others to follow her and watch with concern.

“She’s barfing her lungs out.” Raph snapped from behind him as he gestured towards the vomiting redhead. “Obviously she’s less then okay!”

“Oh man, you don’t have the flu, do you?” Casey asked worriedly, trying to peer around. “I heard a really nasty strain is going around. Eddie at the bar has been out all week ‘cause of it.”

By now, Leo had arrived, and he sighed at everybody crowding around the bathroom door. "Okay, stand back, stand back!” he ordered, pushing his way forward, then working on herding everybody away from the bathroom. “April doesn’t need everybody watching her get sick!”

He managed to push them down the hallway back towards the kitchen, though everybody peered around the corner to try and see regardless. Satisfied that everybody was sufficiently distanced for the moment, he walked back to the bathroom, turning back to motioned firmly and with narrowed eyes for them all to stay there. “Donnie? How is she?”

Donnie was holding April’s hair out of her face as he rubbed her back and murmured comforting words. “I’m not sure. She was fine last night!”

“I knew... I knew that chicken... we had last night... tasted funny.” April panted. She was definitely looking green, not quite as flattering color on her as on the turtles, then she suddenly tensed up, then heaved again.

“Mikey!” Donnie snarled, twisting to look around the bathroom doorway down the hallway. “What have I told you time and time again proper food storage and preparation!”

“Dude! I swear, I’ve been super careful! I just pulled it out of the freezer that morning, and defrosted it in the fridge and everything!” Mikey protested his innocence.

Donnie was back to rubbing April’s back tenderly. “Human stomachs are not quite as robust as ours. Not everybody is built with garbage disposable for digestive tracts!”

“Hey, I ate the same stuff, and I ain’t sick.” Casey pointed out.

“Hence, he made the ‘garbage disposal’ remark.” Raphael rolled his eyes.

April slumped on the floor, apparently finished for the moment. “Oh, gods...” She took the damp cloth that Donnie offered, and wiped off her face. “That... that was unpleasant... Sorry about that.”

“Shh, it’s not your fault. Are you okay now?” Donnie asked, concerned.

“Still... queasy...” April’s face was pale. She sighed and pulled her knees up, resting her arms on them and letting her head fall forward. “Dammit, and I have a test today I can’t miss.”

Leo frowned, stepping in to kneel beside her as well. “Well, you can rest up this morning at least. You’re not stepping into the dojo if you’re feeling this unwell. But if you’re still feeling sick this afternoon, it might be best to make up the test at a later date.”

“I’m never going to get my biochemistry degree if I keep missing these tests.” April frowned, leaning into Donnie’s plastron and obviously taking comfort in the flat, hard surface against her cheek.

Leo frowned and glanced back sharply as he heard Raph approaching, but then nodded in appreciation when he saw the red turtle had just brought up a glass of water, handing it off to Leo before retreating back down the hall. Leo passed it to April, who took it gratefully, using it to rinse out her mouth a few times before drinking.

“You look pretty miserable, April.” Donnie gently smoothed her hair. “Maybe Leo’s right...”

“It’s just food poisoning, Donnie.” April lowered the glass of water, inhaling deeply. “I can’t miss this test. I’ll be fine.” She glanced at the blue leader, looking a little hopeful. “Say, Leo, do you think your healing mantras would help me out here?”

Leo blinked, then frowned, thinking it over. “I... I don’t know? I could try, I guess?”

“Thanks, Leo. I’d really appreciate it if you could.” April grunted as she tried to get up. Both turtles were immediately on their feet, helping her.

“Let’s get her to the couch.” Leo tilted his head towards the hallway, and Donnie nodded. He lifted April up in his arms and started to carry her towards the living room.

“Hey!” she protested, whacking him half-heartedly. “Just because I barfed a few times doesn’t mean that I’m suddenly going to keel over or something. I can walk just fine, thank you very much!”

“April, you’re going to be okay, right?” Mikey looked at her with big, dramatic, tearful eyes. “I didn’t mean to poison you with the chicken! I swear, I’ll never cook chicken fettuccini alfredo again!”

“No... no need to go that far, Mikey.” April winced, holding her stomach and looking pale at the very mention of any food. “Don’t worry, this stuff happens sometimes. I’ll be fine.”

Donnie tenderly set her down on the couch, and Leo knelt down by April. “Alright, I need everybody to back up and be quiet for a moment.” he ordered.

“Hey, you heard Leo.” Donnie stood by the head of the couch protectively, glaring at the others, who all took an obedient step back.

Leo glanced at April uncertainly. “Like I said, don’t get your expectations too high. I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to do much. I’ve never used this on food poisoning before.”

“Eh, food poisoning, regular poisoning, it’s close enough. I just don’t want to miss this test.” April grimaced, laying her head back on the pillows.

Leo nodded, then tucked his heels under him as he settled into position. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaled, then began, twisting his fingers into the proper form with each enunciation of the mantra. “Rin... Pyo... Toh... Sha... Kai... Jin... Retsu... Zai... Zen...”

He slowly fell into himself, letting his life energy bubble up to the surface until he felt his ki building up, then allowed it to expand outwardly, using it mentally prod at April’s life force and trying to hone in on the source of the illness so that he could use his ki to try and soothe the problem.

“Rin... Pyo... Toh... Sha... Kai... Ji _CKLTH_!”

Everybody stared, startled, as Leo made a strange, strangled noise in the back of his throat.

He immediately stopped chanting, hands frozen in mid-mantra, and his eyes shot open wide, staring at April with a very unLeo-like expression, a startled look with his muscles tensed up and rigid.

“Leo?” April raised herself up on her elbows, looking at him with confusion and concern. “Is everything okay?”

Leonardo stared at her with wide blue eyes, obviously trying to keep his breathing under control. “You... you don’t know?” his voice squeaked.

“Know what?!” Donnie’s voice rose in pitch as he leaned down closer, hurriedly examining April for any abnormalities, obviously on the verge of panic at his normally stoic brother’s unexpected reaction. He turned and grabbed Leo by the plastron. “Leo?! What did you sense?! What’s wrong with April?!”

Leo gave a long exhale, then quickly rose to his feet, reaching out to grab both April and Donnie’s wrists in his hands and dragging them up. “You two. Dojo. Now.” He whirled to face the others. “You guys, wait out here. You’ll get an explanation later, I need to talk to these two first. Mikey, your pancakes are burning.”

Mikey gave a yelp and fled to the kitchen as Leo shoved April and Donnie around to the dojo, and shut the door behind them.

“Leo?!” Donnie asked, grabbing April and looking her over intently, obviously scared now. “What’s going on?!”

Leo took a deep breath, leaning back against the door and wondering how to handle this. He cleared his throat, tapping his fingers together nervously. “April... Donnie... Have you...? In your....um... _relations_... together..., have you been taking certain... precautions?”

“Precautions?” April blinked at him, confused.

“You know... were you using... protection?” Leo felt stupidly awkward. As their clan leader, was this a conversation he should’ve had with them beforehand? Oh gods, he was bad at this! “I’m guessing no?”

“Protection?” Donnie frowned, then his reddish brown eyes widened and almost looked offended. “Wait! Leo, do you think April or I have some sort of... some sort of STD or something?!”

“What? No! I meant that...” Leo held up his hands.

“Oh... gods...” April’s quavering, quiet voice interrupted them, and they turned to her. Apparently, she had caught on to Leo’s meaning quicker, and had just used her own psychic abilities to check. She now stood there with her hands on her lower stomach and eyes as wide and shocked as Leo’s had earlier. She looked up at her turtle boyfriend. “Donnie... I’m... pregnant?!”

Donnie froze. Then looked at Leo, who nodded. Then back at April, eyes wide. His mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish out of water, then finally he managed to choke out, “ _PREGNANT_?!”

Huh. Leo hadn’t heard Donnie’s voice crack like that since they were teenagers.

There was a moment of silence, then, from out in the kitchen, there was heard Casey’s whoop, Raph’s exclamation of, “I’m an UNCLE?!” and Mikey’s cheer of “Aw, YEAH! I love babies!”

“What? _HOW?!_ ”

“Please don’t tell me I need to give you ‘the birds and bees’ talk, Donnie.” Leo pleaded, hand running over his face.

“IknowhowbabiesaremadeLeo!” Donnie hissed as he whirled on him, then turned to April, flabbergasted. “You’re a human and I’m a turtle! We shouldn’t be able to... to...”

“I know!” April looked as panicked as he was, hands still holding her lower stomach. “That’s why we didn’t bother using any protection!”

“April, you’re half mutant, remember? And Donnie, don’t we have human DNA in our genes?” Leo reminded them, wincing. Yup. He definitely should have had the ‘practice responsible sex’ talk with them. Well, consider that lesson learned. Now he had to prepare himself for awkward brother time later, because Casey, Raph and Mikey were each soooo getting that lecture, just as soon as he had pilfered enough relevant informational pamphlets from a clinic lobby or something.

“Does that really make a difference?!” Donnie demanded, whirling on Leo once more. “She is biologically a human! I’m a giant turtle! She’s warm blooded, I’m cold blooded! Not to mention that this involves two completely different biological reproductive systems! This... this shouldn’t happen!”

“Obviously it does, Donnie!” April gestured to her stomach, panicking as much as he was.

Donnie raised a finger, obviously trying to come up with an argument or rebuttal. Then, with a squeak, Donnie’s eyes rolled back and his knees gave out, and Leo lunged forward to catch him as he fainted.

* * *

 

April had decided to maybe skip that test after all. She wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on it anyways. Instead, she spent the day in a flux between unexpected joy and unbridled terror. Donnie, upon revival, had immediately rushed to the lab, somehow threw together some device or other, and used more medical and scientific means of confirming the news. The results definitely came out positive.

Donnie ran a few more tests, and managed to detect both mutagen and turtle DNA, confirming that yes, this was going to be a turtle mutant and, as far as they could tell, she was currently about six weeks along. When he tried to push more testing on her, some of the tests sounding rather terrifying and extreme, April threw an empty water bottle at him, saying that she was not going to be treated like a lab rat by her boyfriend.

He then defended himself by saying that they needed more data for both her and the baby’s health.

She told him that she had been poked and prodded enough for one day and she didn’t think that half the tests he was proposing were even necessary.

This arguing eventually devolved into a heated yelling match, which, when involving two intellectuals, meant that the barbed words that flew back and forth were often seven or eight syllables long. Leo had no idea most of the time what they were actually saying, but he did his best to make sure that nothing more then words and the occasional pen or dryboard eraser went flying.

The 'debate' finally ended with both of them sobbing and tearfully hugging and kissing one other while quarreling over why they personally needed to apologize more then the other one did, before tightly clinging to one another while panicking over the idea of the future with a baby together and parenthood in general.

So, all in all, it went about how Leo expected it to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This particular story is not going to be about a baby. It's going to be contained within a few weeks time period, so there's not even going to be much focus on the pregnancy. It's mostly going to be about Leo trying to keep his sanity during a time of major upheaval for his family.
> 
> Oh! And April's preferred pancakes come with strawberries and whipped cream, while Mikey likes to add gummy bears to his own.


	2. Untraditionally Traditional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this and the first chapter were one single mass of text. I've realized, though, that most of my chapters are going to run about 3-5k words each, so I decided to split them into two so they weren't such an anomaly compared to the rest.

It had been two weeks since the big news of a new Hamato Clan member, and Leo had finally gotten the lair back into some semblance of normality. Mikey was still adding to his ever growing list of potential baby name, half of which were variations of his favorite super hero names, and Donatello had since devoted all of his spare time putting together various medical devices that they might need in the upcoming months. Nobody really knew what this child would exactly look like, or how what effect carrying a turtle fetus would have on a human body. Donnie was determined not to leave anything to chance, and soon had his brothers and Casey raiding every junkyard in the city in search of parts, filling the lair with piles of electronics and gadgets of every size and shape.

For her part, April was very clear that, although this development was unexpected, it was not by any means unwelcome. She seemed to be excited at the thought of being a mother, yet, at the same time, Leo couldn't help notice that she seemed to be quieter and more withdrawn then usual. Thus, when she had indicated that she wanted to join him alone for tea one afternoon, he gladly agreed at the chance to talk to her alone.

He was not prepared for the sight that greeted him as she entered the dojo, however. Leo wondered absently if Donnie had seen her and, if so, had he recovered from the state of single syllable babbling Leo was sure he would’ve devolved into yet?

“Thank you for agreeing to letting me join you for tea, Leo.” April held her hands together awkwardly, bowing politely. She was dressed in a beautiful yellow kimono with cherry blossoms, and she looked stunning. Leo had never seen her with make up on before, and not just the normal lipstick, mascara, and blush, but an obvious attempt at painting her face in a ceremonial Japanese mask. She even had taken the time to style her hair, pinning it up with elaborate hair pieces into a traditional Japanese style.

Leo returned the bow, surprised by how much effort she had obviously put into what he thought was just going to be a simple talk over tea. It must have taken her hours to get ready! He began wondering if he should’ve dressed up a little more himself. He just had his normal wraps, belt, and katana scabbards.

“Of course, April. You know I always have time for my sister.” He smiled warmly, taking her by the hand and leading her over to the small tea table he had set up at her request. “You look amazing, by the way. The very picture of a Japanese Hina doll. Did you do your hair yourself? It’s incredible.”

“Oh, thank you.” April’s cheeks reddened slightly, and she touched her hair lightly, as if she were afraid to disturb it. “Raphael styled it, if you can believe that.”

Leo stopped midstep, taken completely by surprise. “Wait, really?! Raph? Our Raphael?!”

April laughed as she knelt down by the small table. “I know! I was surprised as you are!”

“I wonder where he learned that skill.” Leo shook his head, amused. Visions of Raphael carefully practicing on dolls flittered through his mind, and he could help but chuckle. He was going to have to get to the bottom of that little mystery for sure.

Having taken her seat, April respectfully folded her hands in her lap, waiting as Leo poured a small cup of tea into an old, well-worn tea cup, then carried it over to the shrine, offering the tea to the small shrine with the picture of Hamato Yoshi and Tang Shen while murmuring a small prayer, then bowing low.

Standing back up, he walked back and settled on the other side of the tea table, across from April. “I have to admit, I feel a little underdressed. I apologize.” he chuckled, pouring the hot, brown liquid into April’s finely decorated cup.

“Oh, you’re fine!” April hurriedly assured him. “I just... I wanted to do this as perfectly as possible.”

He finished pouring his own tea, and settled down, looking at her curiously. She was obviously nervous about something, and Leonardo was highly curious as to what this was all about.

She licked her lips, and fidgeted a little, playing with the end of her silk kimono sleeve while obviously silently giving herself an internal peptalk.

“April?” he inquired, raising an eye ridge. Since when did April O’Neil hesitate to speak what was on her mind?

Giving a few, short exhales she then finally gathered up her courage and quickly bowed low, blurting out an obviously rehearsed speech in a fast, almost embarrassed tone. “Hamato Leonardo, Leader of the Hamato Clan, I, April O’Neil, respectfully request your permission to take the hand of your brother, Hamato Donatallo, in marriage.”

Leo was very glad he had not taken a drink of his tea yet, as he probably would have spewed it across the table.

“I... see...” he said carefully. Forcing his face to remain neutral, he lowered his cup of tea back down, setting it back on the table while he processed this.

Well. This wasn’t quite what he had expected to happen.

As a big brother, his first instinct was to want to burst out laughing as just how ridiculous this was. But he quickly buried that urge. It was his responsibility as her Clan Leader to treat this request as formally as she apparently was hoping for. Which meant he needed to... to what? Where was the instruction manual for marriage proposals?!

Risking a quickly side glance towards the family shrine, Leo noticed the spirit of his father sitting there, drinking from a spectral version of his old favored tea cup that now sat before the shrine as an offering. Leo inwardly perked up hopefully, wondering if he would get some sage advice, but... no. His sensei just sipped the tea, watching Leonardo with obvious amusement on his transparent whiskered face. Apparently, he was eager to see how this all played out and Leo quickly realized that he wasn’t going to get any spiritual guidance regarding this situation.

_Thanks, Dad...._

April’s, completely oblivious to the spirit of Splinter in the room with them, didn’t look up at Leo, her face bright red underneath the layer of makeup. “I’m so sorry. I know, this is stupid. It’s just... you know... you guys have always been so big on traditions... and you’re the clan leader now... and I just wanted... wanted to do this right.”

Leo cleared his throat, turning his attention fully back to her. “No, there is no need for any apologies, kunoichi. I am very honored that you would come to me with such a request.” he said, sitting straight and his face calm while trying to channel his best ‘Clan Leader’ impression.

He had to do this right. This was important to April. This was important to Donatello. He could not let them down.

Keeping his posture straight but relaxed, purposefully exuding a calm, thoughtful aura that he honestly didn’t feel inwardly, he gestured towards April’s untouched tea, and she nervously picked it up and took a sip. He began calmly drinking his own. “April, I’m sure that you know what my final answer will be as well as I do, but I would be remiss in my duties if I did not have a discussion about this with you first. This is a major decision, and I wish to make sure that you’re sure you know exactly where your heart lies fully on the matter.”

April looked relieved and grateful that Leo wasn’t laughing at this, and nodded, bowing respectfully. “Of course, Sensei. And there is no doubt. I know that my heart lies fully with Donatello. I love him.”

Leo let a small smile grace the corner of his mouth. “Yes, that much I do not doubt.” He took another sip of tea, trying to buy himself a few more precious seconds to settle his thoughts, then looked at her seriously. “But I have to admit, the timing of your request is a little... coincidental. I must ask, you’re not bringing this up now because of the baby, are you?” He didn’t want her to rush into something she wasn’t ready for, just because she felt obligated to, like it was something she had to do.

She shook her head. “No. This is something that I’ve actually been planning for a while now.” She studied her cup of tea, a shy smile on her face. “I was going to wait until September, on the anniversary of the day we first met, but...” she placed a hand on her currently still flat stomach. “... by then I’m not sure how the timing would work by then.” She would be about eight months along at that point.

“You could always have the wedding after the baby.” Leonardo observed.

April shook her head. “I thought about that, but I’m hoping to...” She took a deep breath. “Look, I know exactly what I’m getting into. We still don't know how it will work with a human carrying a turtle infant to term. I know that this is probably going to be a very risky pregnancy, and if something should happen, it’s not like I can go to a hospital... I just... I just don’t want any regrets...”

Leo’s heart dropped for a moment. He knew she was nervous, but was she really afraid that something would go so wrong?

He put down his cup and reached over to put one of his hands over hers firmly. “Nothing is going to happen to you, April. Donatello will not let it.” He gently rubbed the back of her hand with one thumb, giving her a calm, confident smile. “Nor, I assure you, will I. I’ve already talked with Karai, and she’s agreed to allow me to access some of the mantras and ninjitsu healing techniques kept in the Foot archives regarding childbirth. Between Donnie’s unparalleled genius, your incredible spirit and powers, and my healing ki and mantras, both you and the baby will be fine.”

April took a deep breath, then put her other hand on Leo’s gratefully, enveloping his large green hands in her small, delicate ones. “Thank you, Leo. I know that with you guys at my back, I have nothing to fear. It’s just... it’s hard not to be nervous, you know?”

He nodded. “Of course. I will always be here if you need to talk, and, of course, discuss your concerns Donnie. I'm sure he's as nervous as you are, and being open with both of your fears will allow you both to work out solutions and contingency plans together. And of course, if you want, you can always join me in the dojo here to meditate.”

April chuckled, more relaxed now. “Thank you, Leo. I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” She rubbed her lower stomach. “We need to get this little one introduced to the lifestyle of a ninja as early as possible, after all.”

Leo chuckled, then sat back and picked up his tea once more and clearing his throat. “Now, about this marriage proposal...”

“My request is still respectfully on the table." April nodded, picking her own cup back up. "I have not changed my mind."

"You're certain about this?"

She looked at Leo, conviction in her green eyes. “I am. I wouldn’t change a single thing about Donnie, I love him with my whole heart and soul, but he is a mutant, and I know that means there are many things that are going to be... different... for us. We can’t do many of the things that normal couples take for granted. We won’t even be able to have a real wedding. If I can give him at least a little taste of normalcy, of things done properly and traditionally, then I want to. I want to give him the life of a husband and wife starting a family together.”

Leo exhaled slowly, then looked at her seriously. “And you?”

“I want that life as well.” She looked directly at him, eyes burning and not the slightest trace of uncertainty on her face. “I want it so badly that it hurts.”

“It will forever be a life of shadows, secrecy, lies, and danger.” he warned. “We are mutants. You will never be able to have a normal social life among humans. You will have to always hide and lie about half of your life.”

April sat up straight and proud, and looked Leo dead in the eye. “If I have anything to say about it,” she said firmly, “it will be more then half of my life. It will be all of it. Donatello is my life. The Hamato clan is my life. I knew the trials of living with mutants already, and planned on that being a reality of my life, whether I married Donnie or not. You turtles are my family and my life, and have been since you first rescued me all those years ago. And I would never change that, not in a thousand lifetimes if I could. I don’t care what I’m giving up, because what I’m gaining, you guys as a family, is worth infinitely more.”

Leo could see her aura flair with sincerity and resolution, and couldn’t help but feel warmth wash over him at her words, touched by her love for their family and grateful that such an amazing young human had come into their lives. He glanced over at the spirit of Master Splinter, and saw that he was beaming with pride as well.

Leonardo nodded and gave her a broad, delighted smile. Well, that was it then. “I can feel the conviction in your heart, kunoichi. It would be my greatest honor and joy to see both you and my brother joined together in union.” He gave her a respectful bow. “Know that you have my permission, and my deepest blessings. And if there is anything that I can do to aid you in any way, I shall do so in a heartbeat, my dear sister.”

Tears form in April’s eyes, and she spent a few seconds trying to compose herself, before giving up and springing forward to wrap him in a hug. “Oh, thank you! Thank you, Leo!”

Leo laughed and hugged her back, then pushed her back a little. “Hey, careful, careful! We don’t want to mess up that pretty hair that Raphael spent so much time on! By the way, has Donnie seen you dressed up like this yet? If not, can you wait until I get a camera ready first before you show him?”

April wiped away a tear and laughed joyfully. “He hasn’t yet. I was going to surprise him. I’ll... I’ll have to reapply some of the makeup first, though. I’m sure I smudged it a bit. I can’t believe I’m crying!” Radiating joy, she grabbed Leo’s hands excitedly. “Leo! I’m going to marry Donnie! Oh my gosh! I’m actually going to marry Donnie!”

Clan Leader business done, Leo allowed himself to grin stupidly, clasping her hands and sharing in her delight. “I can’t believe you asked me! I wasn’t kidding when I said that I was honored. What made you decide to do this, instead of Donnie? What did he say about it?”

April looked a little guilty. “Well... actually... He doesn’t know. I... I haven’t actually asked him yet.”

"Wait, so you haven't actually discussed this with him first?"

April threw up her hands. “Leo. You know Donnie! He’s never going to ask me! He’s too afraid that I’m going to reject him, even though I’ve been dropping hints that it’s something I want as well for ages now! So I decided to take the initiative. If he’s not going to ask me, then I’m going to ask him!” She looked down at her kimono and suddenly looked a little shy. “But, like I said, I wanted to make sure that I did everything perfectly. He deserves nothing less.”

“Well, know with certainty that Master Splinter is watching you right now, and he is very proud of you. Of both of you.” Leo said softly, rubbing the back of her hand with a thumb. And, over by the shrine, the ghost of his father gave a nod of appreciation that Leo passed on the message.

“Oh, I hope so.” Tears welled up in April’s eyes again, and she quickly dabbed them away. “Thank you, Leo. For everything.”

“So when are you planning on asking Donnie?” Leo inquired eagerly, as they both sat down to finish their tea.

“I was planning on doing so tonight.” April grinned a happy and nervous grin, fingering her tea cup. “I’m planning on a romantic dinner with just the two of us. Mikey and Raph are in on the secret, by the way. They’ve been helping me get things set up, like my hair and outfit and such.”

Leo looked at her, astonished. “Wait, really?" Something like this had been going on under his nose, and he had been unaware of it? Leo was more impressed then upset, they must really have taken some of their stealth techniques to new heights! Especially Mikey!

April squirmed a little. “Yeah, I really wanted to include you, Leo, but, you know, you were sort of part of the plan.”

Leo took a sip of his tea. “Well, consider me surprised. And honored.”

April also took a drink, then fiddled with her cup. “Although, now that you know, I would like to ask your advice on something. A small wrinkle in my plan came to my attention this afternoon.”

“Of course. Anything.”

April sighed. “Well, you know, it’s tradition to exchange rings, but then I realized that... um...”

Leo frowned, looking down at his own hand and its large, rectangular fingers that no human shaped ring could possibly fit, and realized what she was getting at. “Oh, yes, I see.”

“I planned to get around that by stringing the ring on a chain, to wear as a necklace, but Raph pointed out while doing my hair that if Donnie ever had to pull his head into his shell, it most likely would slip off. I hadn’t even considered that, and now I’m not sure what to do.”

Leo rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “Yeah, I see your dilemma... We’re not really built for jewelry...”

April fiddled with her tea. “I do have some heirloom rings I was planning on using that I inherited from my grandparents, but maybe we should exchange something else instead? But it’s kind of short notice, and I can’t really think of anything that would carry the same meaning. Mikey suggested maybe a small piercing on the top of his plastron or something to hang the ring off of, and Raph suggested tattoos, but I’m leaning towards something still meaningful, but involving less... body modification.”

Leo looked thoughtful for a moment, tapping his chin as he considered this. “Wait here for a moment.” he finally instructed, then stood up and went into the bedroom located off to the side of the dojo. Once, this had been Master Splinter’s room, but he had since taken his father’s old room for himself, more out of necessity then anything. There were only so many rooms in the lair, and when April, and then Casey moved in, they had to do a little bit of rearranging.

Of course, the whole arrangement became rendered moot when April officially moved into Donnie’s room, leaving his old one empty once more. Still, Leo stayed in his father’s room. Strange, Leo wondered as he pulled out an elaborately painted chest, how many years it would take for him to think of it as ‘his’ room? But sometimes he could still smell his father’s scent wafting through the air, and he felt a comfort as he slumbered that he hadn’t felt since he was a young child, climbing into his father’s bed to sleep after a nightmare.

He opened the chest, and pulled out two strips of black silk. He ran a finger over the stitching, critically judging the worthiness of the craftsmanship, before nodding and closing the lid to the chest. He walked back into the dojo, and settled back down at the table. He carefully took out the two strips of silk and offered them to April. “How about these?”

April took them, looking over them curiously, then gasped. Beautifully embroidered on each piece of black silk was the symbol of the Hamato clan, protected and encircled by two graceful dragons. “Leo! They’re beautiful!”

Leo felt his face heat up a little. He tried to remain nonchalant about it, going back to his tea. “I’m glad you think so. They’re wrist wraps, so Donnie can wear them with little to no hindrance. Donnie and I have similar sized wrists, so it should fit him, and if you wish to wear one for yourself, I think I could resize it for you before tonight. I just thought that it would be possible to sew your rings securely on them, if you’d like. I think they’d fit nicely on the center of the Hamato sigil, and then Donnie could wear the ring openly on his person.”

“Oh, Leo, that perfect!” April looked up at him, delighted. She traced one of the dragons admiringly with a finger. “Were these Master Splinter’s?”

Leo was now a little embarrassed and nervous. “Actually, I made them. I wished to make myself some formal wear in case I would ever need it one day, as clan leader, and was trying to combine traditional Japanese style with our own particular fashion styles. It’s been more of a side project then anything, and I haven’t gotten very far.” he admitted, rubbing his arm. He had planned to have a tabard, sash, wrist and ankle guards, and ceremonial version of his blue mask, but after three years of working on the project on and off, he had only finished the wrist guards, sash, and mask.

April looked at him, surprised, then down at the wrist wraps. “Leo, you made these?! I didn’t know you could sew like this! It’s beautiful!”

Leo shrugged, a little flustered. “Well, my brothers are always accusing me of acting like a boy scout. I didn’t want to add ‘skilled in embroidery’ to their list of verbal ammunition.”

April laughed. “Well, if they give you a hard time, you always can bring up Raphael’s hair dresser skills.”

Leo chuckled. "I'm bound and determined to figure out where and why he learned to do that. Anyways, if you do intend on speaking to Donnie tonight, and you wish to use these, then I should begin alterations at once." He pulled out the small sewing kit he had brought out of the bedroom as well.

"Are... are you sure, Leo?" April looked at him hesitantly. "These are so beautiful and are such a precious gift to just give away like that. You meant these for your own use, and you must have put hours and hours of work into these."

He pulled out a small, fine needle, skillfully clasping it between his giant fingers, and began pulling out a variety of colored threads, giving her a smile and a nod. "It is a gift that I gladly give to you, April. I can always make myself a new set later. If you wish, consider it to be an early engagement present from an adoring big brother."

April looked down at the silk one more time, and this time, when she looked back up at Leo, she seemed to holding back fresh tears. "Thank you, Leo. It's perfect."

* * *

 

Raph’s electric green eyes were narrowed to slits, intense concentration furrowing his brow, his tongue stuck out slightly.

“Careful Raph!” Mikey warned him, peeking over the edge of the table with his baby blue eyes wide with anticipation and concern.

“Shut up, you’re breathing on it.” Raph growled. “And don’t you dare bump the table!”

With the tip of his Sai, he carefully eased the wooden block out, and gave a small exhale of relief as nothing happened. He cautiously set it on top of the stack, and then took a step back, a smug and satisfied look on his face. “And done. Your turn, Leo.”

Leo, who had been off to the side, running through simple katas with his katanas, nodded and turned to the table, studying the situation at hand.

Jenga, when played by ninjas, could get rather intense.

Masters of balance, the game of stealthily easing the blocks out and stacking them in perfect balance had been turned into an art form, and this current tower was teetering precariously at over thirty levels. A mere breath of air in the wrong direction could knock it down right now.

Leo tapped the table lightly with a katana, closing his eyes and listening to the vibrations for a moment. Then, suddenly, he spun about, steel flashing, and the tower was instantly missing one more block. Looking over, it could be seen now sitting balanced on the flat of his sword. He smirked at Raph, flipped the block through the air and caught it on the flat of his other blade, then deposited the block on top of the tower neatly without touching it, not even generating the slightest sway in the skeletal tower.

“Show off.” Raph grumbled, arms crossed.

Leo sheathed both of his swords in one movement, and bowed slightly. Straightening up, he gestured towards the table. “Mikey?”

“Right. Now step back and let a true Jenga master show you how it’s done!” Mikey cracked his knuckles and stepped forward.

Raph and Leo took an obedient step back and watched with interest. Once the game reached this level, things got interesting.

Mikey stood in front of the tower in an almost sumo wrestler pose, a look of complete intensity on his normally childish face. He began to move his arms in motions that resembled an almost rigid mockery of a kata. “Hweeeeeeeeeee.... Whoooooooo... Hhhhuuuguguguguguuu...”

“Uh...” Raph looked at Leo, confused. Leo shrugged.

“Jeeeengaaaaa Tooooweeerrrr....” Mikey growled out dramatically to the tower, waving his hands about the air. “Obey me! Boom!” And with that, he twisted his hand about like a magician revealing a card, only to reveal instead a Jenga block between his fingers.

“Wait, _what_?!” Both Leo and Raph unfolded their arms and looked at him, dumbfounded. They hadn’t seen him even attempt to touch the tower.

“Mikey, you cheating?!” Raph stomped over rather gently as not to disturb the tower, and grabbed Mikey’s hand roughly, twisting it about to look for telltale signs of hiding spots in his wraps.

Leo looked over the tower and frowned. “I don’t think he did, Raph. There’s a piece missing right there. I’m sure it was there on my turn.”

“Raph! Bro! You wound me! Questioning the skills of a Jenga Master? The nerve!” Mikey attempted to look offended, but it was clear from the glee in his eyes that he was thrilled he had baffled his brothers. He dropped the block on top of the tower with ease, and turned to Raph. “Your turn again, by the way.”

Raph narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his baby brother, then spun his sais in his hands, turning to the teetering tower and trying to hide his nervous exhale as he examined the daunting task ahead of him. He gave a piece a feather-light tap experimentally with the tip of the sai, judging just how essentially loadbearing it was to the tower’s integrity.

**_“GUYS!”_ **

Raph gave a jolt at Donnie’s sudden loud, exuberant yell through the lair, and the Jenga tower came tumbling down with a clatter.

“Guys! Guysguysguysguys!” Donnie literally bounced into the lair with April in his arms hugging his neck bridal style, and both beaming madly and positively bubbling over with excitement. Leo noticed with a grin that both of them now each wore a matching black silk wrist guard. “You’ll never guess what just happened!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in the series, Splinter's spirit only ever seemed to appear to Leonardo after his death, sans tears between the mortal world and the afterlife. Thus, only Leo seems to be aware of his father's ghost watching out over them. I actually have an explanation storywise for that, but it probably won't reveal itself for quite some time. For the time being, I imagine it's like Splinter is feeling like your parents when you bring your kid over for them to babysit, and they load them up with all the sugars and give them a toy drum kit. It's AWESOME watching this from the other side!


	3. Properly Freaking Out

The sound of a marker squeaking across the surface of tagboard coming from the lab room was like the call of a siren for nosy brothers. Like a moth drawn to a streetlight, it wasn’t long before curious eyes peeked around the corner into the lab, three sets of turtle eyes ranging from sapphire blue, baby blue, and electric green, alongside one set of brown human eyes.

There was Donnie leaning over the table, tongue sticking out slightly in concentration as he used a ruler to guide the permanent marker across the well-covered tag board in straight lines.

The three other turtles and Casey looked at one another, then moved in to look on curiously.

“Another flowchart, eh Donnie?” Raph asked, moving around him to peer down over the genius’s shoulder.

“Uh huh.” Donnie didn’t even look up, shifting the wooden yardstick to make another neat line between two squares drawn on the thick, glossy paper.

“Dude, I haven’t seen you do that in a long time.” Mikey climbed up on Raph’s shell to see better, mesmerized by the marker squeaks.

“What’s this one about?” Leo asked, putting his hands on the table and leaning over curiously.

Donnie sat back and looked over his work critically with reddish brown eyes narrowed, tapping his chin with the marker. “April and I still have to talk to Mr O’Neil about getting married, and I want to make sure I’m prepared for every probability.” He said absently. He apparently noticed something amiss, and leaned forward to draw another line.

Raph studied the flow chart for a moment, then looked up at Donnie with an eyeridge raised. “You have a contingency plan for if he pulls out a taser on you?”

“Uh huh.” Donnie didn’t look phased at all. “I have to plan for every possible outcome. I’m a giant mutant turtle asking a father for the hand of the most beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman ever to exist. It is quite possible he might react negatively.”

“In that case, how many of your plans involve ‘Hide behind April for Protection’?” Casey joked as he leaned down to get a better look.

“That’s the plan for eight different scenarios.” Donnie admitted, capping the black pen and reaching for a green one, apparently moving to some form of color coding.

“I also see you have ‘Escaping out the Upstairs Window’ and ‘Hiding in the Bathroom’ as potential options.” Raph observed, studying the flow chart.

“Aw...” April walked in, carrying a cup of coffee. She set it down beside Donnie and planted a kiss on top of his head. “Don’t worry, Donnie. I know my father might get a little excitable sometimes, but he likes you! I’m sure it’s going to go just fine.”

Donnie seemed to melt a little under her kiss, and got a goofy, dreamy grin on his face. Then, snapping out of it, he shook his head and went back to plotting out his courses. “April, this is your dad, my future father-in-law, and the grandfather of our offspring we’re talking about. His blessing for our union is extremely important to me. This has to go perfectly!”

His choice of words got Leo to thinking. April had said something along that line yesterday when she had asked his permission. She had wanted some form of tradition and official validation in her attempt to marry his brother. Perhaps, as leader, he could offer it here as well. He looked up. “I could go and speak with April's dad first.” he offered. “Soften the blow a little and get him used to the idea before you meet up with him.”

“Oh, yeah. That’ll leave a good impression.” Donnie scoffed, then sat up and put one hand on his hip, holding an imaginary conversation. “‘Oh, hey Mr. O’Neil! I want to marry your daughter, but I’m too chicken to ask you myself, so here’s my big brother to ask instead’”

Leo punched him in the arm playfully. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He leaned on the table, explaining himself. “I was thinking more of a diplomatic meeting between myself and the leader of the O’Neil Clan. As the head of the Hamato Clan, it would be following ancient tradition for me to meet with the other clan and discuss a possible alliance through marriage.

April blinked. “But... my dad’s not the head of a clan. Much less us being an official ‘O’Neil Clan’.”

Leo waved his hand. “Oh, I know that. But he is your father and theoretically the head of the family, so that’s kind of like being the head of your own small clan. It would perhaps make him feel respected and important, like his opinion really does matter in this.”

“Ah, so butter him up through flattery and pretty words.” Raph snorted disdainfully, always one to prefer straightforward approaches.

“It’s called ‘diplomacy’, Raph.” Leo shot back. “You should give it a try some time.” He turned back to Donnie and April. "Anyways, in this case, I wouldn’t be actually be asking for April’s hand on your behalf. I would just try to convince him that such a union would be worth considering, and inform him that you wish to meet with him at some point to ask him for his permission and blessing. It would be strictly a formal meeting between two clan leaders.”

Donnie frowned, tapping the marker on the table as he considered it. “I... suppose that might be a good way to go about this.”

Casey nodded sagely. “Well, I think it’s a great idea. No offense, April, but your dad’s a bit... a bit...” he fished around for an unoffensive term.

“Emotional?” Mikey offered, sitting cross legged on his perch on Raph’s shell.

“Yeah!” Casey nodded. “He’s going to freak at first. And Donnie, dude, you know as well as I do that if he freaks, you’re going to freak. You two will just keep freaking each other more and more, and it’ll turn into a vicious, never-ending cycle!”

“It’ll be a regular ouroboros of freaking out!” Mikey tossed up his hands dramatically, agreeing whole heartedly.

“Okay, first off, Mikey, how in the world do you even know the word ‘ouroboros’?” Donnie demanded.

“It was in the ‘Word a Day’ calendar Leo got me.” Mikey shrugged.

“Dude. You choose the weirdest things to retain.” Casey blinked at him.

“Second, I will not ‘freak out’!” Donnie glared at them, apparently offended.

“Says the turtle who has a plan in case Mr. O’Neil owns a shotgun.” Raph observed, gesturing towards tag board.

“It is a valid concern!” Donnie hissed.

“Mr. O’Neil... owning a gun.” Raph raised an eyebrow. “Are we talking about the same scrawny, nerdy psychologist?”

"Raph, be respectful." Leo shot him a stern look.

“With as many times as this city has been under attack, I’m shocked more citizens aren’t armed.” Donnie grumbled, going back to his markers and tag board.

“Donnie, bro, this is your future father in law we’re talking about. You can’t mess this up!" Casey looked concerned at the tag board flowchart, and shook his head. "What you need, man, is somebody who doesn’t freak to get April’s dad through his ‘freak out’ stage first, so that later, when you do talk to Mr O’Neil yourself, neither of you freak each other out!” Casey threw his arm around Leo’s shell, leaning on the shorter turtle. “Leo never freaks, so he’s perfect for this!”

“...Well... that was argued... eloquently.” Leo looked up at the human leaning on him with an eyeridge raised. “Well done, Casey.”

“You know I always got your shells, bro.” Casey clicked his tongue and gave Leo a wink.

“I hate to say it, but they do have a point.” April frowned, looking over to Donnie. “I love my dad, but sometimes he can get a little... dramatic. He might need a little bit of time to work out some of his emotions. And he might not ‘freak out’, as they put it, quite so badly if it were Leo breaking the news to him and he didn't feel suddenly put on the spot.”

“I suppose treating Mr. O’Neil with all the respect of a head of a clan would perhaps make him more open to the idea.” Donnie chewed his lip, looking down at his flow chart, then up at Leo. “It just... it feels like I’m wimping out or something. I don’t like the idea of making you deal with all the difficult stages, while I sweep in afterwards to gain all the rewards.”

Leo scoffed. “Trust me, Donnie. My job will be easy compared to yours. I’ll just acting the part of the messenger. You’re the one who’s actually going to have to convince him.” He grinned wryly. “And actually, you’ll be doing me a favor. As your clan leader, it’ll make me feel important and a part of this.”

“So, Leo can go talk to my dad and give him a day or so to adjust to the idea.” April looked between Donnie and Leo. “Meanwhile, you and I can go over what we want to say while we set up a really fancy dinner for him the next day. In fact, there’s this Greek restaurant that my dad loves, we can order take out from there, and eat at Dad’s apartment. He’ll feel more comfortable there, I think.”

“I suppose so...” Donnie thought this over, and slowly nodded. “Yes, this might actually work!”

* * *

 

And that was how Leonardo ended up in Kirby O’Neil’s dining room at a polished wooden table, sitting somewhat uncomfortably on a rigid, high-backed wooden chair never designed for a turtle to sit on.

He politely took a spoonful from the plain white bowl filled with thin noodles and small cubed vegetables and meat, more then likely heated directly from a can. There was also a bologna and mayo sandwich on white bread, cut neatly into diagonal sections, sitting on a plate next to the bowl. This ensemble was completed by a glass of water with a few ice cubes thrown in.

According to April, her father wasn’t big on cooking. As somebody who grew up on algae and worms, Leo couldn’t really complain, but he had to admit that he had gotten rather spoiled by Mikey’s cooking the last few years. He decided at that moment that they should probably stop by at least once a week and make sure that Mr. O’Neil had a decent homecooked meal once in a while.

“I have to admit, I was rather surprised when you asked to join me for supper, Leonardo.” Kirby sat across from him, obviously a little nervous. He wiped his mouth with his napkin, and set it carefully aside next to his plate.

“Thank you for accommodating my request. I do apologize for the short notice.” Leonardo nodded. He hoped his nervousness didn’t show in any form. Diplomacy had never seemed to be his strong suit. If he were calm, Kirby would be calm. Oh, gods, what if he messed this up for April and Donnie?! “I sincerely hope that I haven’t inconvenienced you, but I have some clan business that I wished to discuss with you.”

“Clan business?” Kirby looked at him nervously.

Leonardo gave him a calm smile and nod. “Yes. As you’re aware, at the death of our father, I took over the duties as Clan Leader for the Hamato clan. Thus, it is my responsibility to meet with the leaders of any of our clan’s allies. That includes, among the most trusted and treasured, the O’Neil clan. You are, of course, the head of said clan, and thus I requested for an audience with you.”

“Me? Clan O’Neil?” Kirby looked completely taken by surprise.

“But of course.” Leo raised an eyeridge at him, acting surprised that Kirby seemed to be surprised. He set his soup spoon aside, privately deciding that he had all he wanted of the bland broth.

“Oh. Well... we’re not really a clan, you know.” Kirby rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “It’s just April and me.”

“You are the head of your family, a family that is very near and dear to my own.” Leo said firmly. “Thus, you are deserving of respect and honor, Mr. O’Neil.” And Leo did mean that sincerely. Despite his natural timidity, Kirby had shown himself willing to do anything to protect his daughter, even at the cost of his own life and safety if needed, and had willingly put himself in harm’s way to help out the Hamatos in the past.

“O-oh. Well, thank you, Leonardo. That means... that means a lot to me.” Kirby looked touched and sat up a little straighter. Then, as if the thought just occurred to him, he gave an awkward bow. “I am honored, then, to have you in my home.”

“The honor is mine, Mr. O’Neil.” Leo gracefully and politely returned the bow, and settled back in the rigid chair, his shell scrapping against the back and causing the wood to creak. He took a sip of the ice water, and found himself wishing for a nice comforting cup of tea right now. “Now then, as I mentioned, I asked for this meeting to discuss recent events that affect both of our... families, if that’s the term you’d prefer.”

“Recent events...?” Kirby looked confused, then bit his lip. “Wait... this has something to do with April, doesn’t it?”

Leo nodded. “Yes. You are aware of her relationship with my brother, Donatello?”

“I... I am aware, yes.” Kirby looked uncomfortable now.

“Both April and Donatello have expressed interest to me about perhaps continuing their relationship on a deeper level. Thus, I have come before you to see what your thoughts are on a more permanent alliance between our families.” Leo chose his words carefully.

“A... a more permanent alliance?! Really?” Kirby grabbed his glass of water and took a nervous drink.

Leo paused from the prepared speech in his brain for a moment, considering the man before him. The human man before him obviously realized where this conversation was heading, and was trying to stave off the welling feelings of panic. Realizing just how he must be feeling, Leo exhaled. Then, coming to a sudden decision, he abandoned the script he had planned on following this evening, and instead looked at him with understanding in his sapphire eyes, giving him a sad smile. His voice grew soft and filled with sympathy. “I’m sorry. This isn’t exactly the life you wanted for her, is it?”

Kirby looked startled at the sudden shift in direction, then looked away, ashamed. “I... I’m sorry. You turtles have done so much for April and for me. You’ve risked your lives to save us, and the world, multiple times. I... I shouldn’t...”

“You are her father.” Leo said gently. “Of course you should.” He leaned forward. “Kirby, you are April’s father, and thus a part of our family as well. I do not wish for you to ever feel like an outsider, or that your concerns and feelings are inconsequential. You have reservations about this match, and the future that your daughter has chosen for herself. I will not judge, nor take any offense if you speak your mind openly and honestly.”

Kirby was quiet for a moment, then sighed, and looked away. “It’s just... it’s such a dangerous life... What if she gets hurt? Or worse?”

Leo gently pushed his plate of food off to the side, and rested his elbows on the table, clasping his hands together and considering this. “Why couldn’t April be happy staying safe?” he guessed, empathizing with the human father. “What if she had a normal life like other people. One where she had a normal job and a normal husband and normal kids, where she didn’t have to deal with wars between ninja clans, alien invasions, and mutants.”

“I... wouldn’t go quite that far. About the mutants, I mean.” Kirby admitted, throwing Leo a look. “Some of them have proven to be good friends.”

Leo smiled gratefully, then sighed. “You do know that it would have never turned out like that.” he said quietly. “April is partially a mutant herself. Even if she had never met us, she would’ve always attracted the attention of dangerous foes. She would always have been in danger.”

“That was something her mother and I discussed often.” Kirby admitted, looking down at his hands.“After... after what happened to Elizabeth... April was just little more then a toddler then... I had hoped if we disappeared, moved to the city and just became part of the millions of normal people here... She wouldn’t have to...” Kirby trailed off, and seemed to have trouble voicing his thoughts. He took a deep breath, then finally admitted, “ If we had never met you turtles, then we would have remained prisoners of the Kraang. You freed her, took her in, and protected her when I could not. I don’t even want to think of what they would have done to her. I am extremely grateful to you and your brothers, and I know how much we owe you.”

“She is strong, Kirby. Much more then I think even I realize.” Leo told him quietly, and then he sighed in agreement. “I wish that I could keep her, and all my brothers, from danger." He admitted. "If I could prevent any of them from ever getting hurt ever again, I would do so in a heartbeat, even if it cost me my life. But, sadly, fate keeps the luxury of a safe and quiet life out of our reach.” He looked at Kirby seriously. “Thus, we have instead taught April to control her powers, and given her the knowledge and skill to protect herself, and my brothers and myself will always be there to protect her ourselves if needed. That is what my family offers to your family.”

Kirby swallowed hard, and nodded. “Yeah... I know... And... and I'm thankful for that. More then you know.”

“She loves Donatello.” Leo pressed gently. “And my brother adores her. They wish to talk to you and ask for your blessing.”

Kirby let his hand run over his face, and then, after a moment, gave a wry chuckle into his hands. “It’s not like I would be able to change her mind. She has always been so strong willed.” A wistful look crossed his face. “Just like her mother.” He exhaled, then looked up to Leo. “But will it even work out? I mean... they’re so different... physically...”

Leo coughed and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “Well, considering the baby, I think they have that part of their relationship figured out sufficiently.” he half joked.

Kirby’s head snapped up. “Wait, what?! What baby?!”

Leo froze, and looked at Kirby, who now had an odd, dangerous look on his face. Every alarm was going off in his brain. Oh, gods. April had told him that she was pregnant, right? They had discovered it over two weeks ago! She had to have told him by now! "You know... the baby? April is... You... you didn't know?"

Kirby stood up, the full wrath of protective and angry fatherhood darkening his face. “Leonardo... What... did your brother do... _to my baby girl_?!”

“Uhhhhh....” Leo stuttered, shrinking back in his chair, eyes wide. Oh gods, he had messed this up! He had messed this up so badly! How did he fix this?! “Now, I’m sure that April meant to tell you, but.... uh...”

For all his timidity, Kirby O'Neil was still a father, and he could still summon all the rage of a father realizing that somebody had _touched_ his _**baby girl**_! Kirby snarled, launching himself over the table at Leo, scattering soup and ice water everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't remember if April's mom's name was ever mentioned in the show. In the ongoing comic series, it's Elizabeth, so I went with that. I was a little worried in writing this that I cast Kirby in a negative light, which isn't what I was going for. I actually like the poor guy, he's just so blandly normal in a world where aliens, mutants, and robots attack on a regular basis. Poor guy always seemed to be in waaaay over his head, and never really seemed sure what exactly what was happening or how to deal with it, but he still soldiers on anyways for the sake of his daughter. 
> 
> Oh, and Ouroboros is the snake/dragon that eats its own tail, a symbol of an eternal cycle.


	4. Communicating Clearly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bah! I thought that I would get this chapter posted right away, I had it halfway written when I posted the last one. But I ran across the same problem I did in my 'Misunderstandings' story. The characters in my brain were all 'Shenanigans! Grumpy Leo! Panicking Donnie! Funny!' and then when I went to write them, they all became 'Personal Crisis! Self Worth Examination! Abandonment Issues! Angst!' and I was like 'Stoppit! Be lighthearted, dammit!', and had to keep rewriting it. The chapter is still a little more serious in tone then I intended, but, eh, it deals with their emotional responses adequately enough that I'm satisfied. This will probably be the most serious chapter of this entire episode (that I'm currently aware of), just because it is dealing with the rawest emotions.
> 
> After this, we get to have fun wedding planning and celebrations!

After Master Splinter’s death, Leo had read up on the five stages of grief, hoping to be able to better help his brothers and soothe his own grieving soul. As he tried to peel a livid, frothing maligned father off of his face without injuring him, he wondered if it might be a helpful guideline for this situation as well.

He decided to take it as a compliment to his own reputation of trustworthiness that Kirby O’Neil seemed to completely skip the denial stage. Apparently he had taken Leo at his word that the turtle’s brother had knocked up his daughter. No, he definitely went straight into the ‘Anger’ stage. As mild mannered and timid as Mr. O’Neil normally was, this involved his baby girl's honor, and thus this stage was the most understandable and volatile. Items were thrown, curses spat, and things really got interesting once he stumbled upon his golf club bag. Leo made a mental note to himself that later he really needed to show Mr. O’Neil how to properly throw a punch. He was glad that he was there and not Donnie to take the brunt of this explosion of fatherly outrage. Donnie would have taken this very personally, whereas Leo knew enough to let the angry and hurtful words roll off of his shell. Mostly.

He briefly wondered if _‘If your brother ever touches my daughter again, I’ll deshell him with a blunt spoon!’_ could be considered part of the bargaining stage. Later, he decided that the bargaining stage actually was when Kirby grew too exhausted to continue his tirade, and instead began convincing himself that he could just get her away from all this and save her. Travel pamphlets and maps were then haphazardly strewn all around the apartment, and there were elaborate plans made to somehow get April out of New York City and away from any immoral, perverted, daughter-seducing boyfriend turtles by moving to Alaska. Or possibly Sweden. Apparently Sweden was high on the table of possibilities for some reason. Leo didn’t bother to remind him of the fact that, if April didn’t want to go, there was no way in hell that Kirby was going to be able to force her. Heck, Leo didn’t think that even he and all of his brothers combined could make her do anything she didn’t want to, and they had taken on entire armies before.

Now, a few hours later, Kirby seemed to be firmly in the depression stage. He sat at the table, an open bottle of scotch at hand, weeping over photo albums filled with childhood pictures of April. He was quite intoxicated by this point, and apparently Leo had shown himself enough of a calm and sturdy rock that Kirby now considered him to be a shoulder to cry upon.

“And here she was at her sixth birthday party...” he tearfully reminisced. “She was so adorable dressed up like a cowgirl. All she wanted was a pony. Why didn’t I just get her a damned pony?! Is that where I went wrong?”

“You live in New York City, Mr. O’Neil. A pony wasn’t really a possibility.” Leo said soothingly, feeling stupidly awkward as he put a comforting hand on the drunkenly sobbing man’s hunched shoulder. He noticed that Kirby was reaching for the bottle again, and slide the package of Fig Newtons he had managed to scrounge up in the kitchen closer. “Mr. O’Neil, why don’t you have a bite of something solid first before you drink some more?” he suggested. The man hadn’t eaten much, and Leo wasn’t sure how high his alcohol tolerance was to begin with.

“Leonardo, you understand, don’t you?” Kirby wiped his face with his sleeve, before talking one of the soft cookies and taking a miserable bite out of it. “It’s like one minute, she’s this adorable little baby girl who’s begging you to tie her pigtails up in pretty ribbons, and then BOOM! There’s boyfriends and much more interesting friends and suddenly she doesn’t need her daddy anymore." He sniffled and turned a page in the photo album. "She... she hasn’t needed me for a long time, I guess.”

Okay, April REALLY needed to have a talk with her dad, about more then just the baby, apparently. “April will always be your daughter, Mr. O’Neil. She loves you and she will always need you.” Leo handed him a kleenex from the nearby box sitting on the table. “I suspect that she’ll need you now more then ever.

Kirby gave a little wail and tipped over to sob on Leo’s shoulder. “My baby is going to have a baby, Leo!”

Leo sighed and held him awkwardly, patting his back comfortingly.

It was going to be a long night...

 

* * *

 

Eventually, Leo managed to get the extremely drunk Kirby over to the couch, where he finally passed out. Leo made sure he was on his side and propped a pillow behind him, covered him with a thick blanket, and left a bucket nearby just in case.

All of the lights were turned off, and Leo silently walked around the dark and otherwise empty apartment, trying to quietly clean up and put things back in order as best as he could while he kept vigil. Kirby’s wrath had been pretty impressive. Perhaps April had inherited her battle spirit from her father’s side after all.

Speaking of April, he should probably call her and let her know that the dinner they planned might have to wait a few days.

He retrieved his tPhone, which he had left silenced on the kitchen counter, and as he flipped it on, his eyeridge raised at the number of missed calls and unread text messages. He must have missed them in his attempts to keep Kirby from injuring himself while dodging golf club swings. It looked like they were all from April. He frowned and opened the messenger app, glancing over the long list of texts.

 

 

> _‘Thanks for helping us Leo. I really appreciate it. Good luck! *smiley face* *heart*’_
> 
> _‘Lab’s rearranged for dinner with dad later. How’s it going?’_
> 
> _‘Oh, Leo! I almost forgot to tell you! I haven’t told Dad about the baby yet! I wanted to wait until after the wedding.’_
> 
> _'So yeah. Just letting you know not to bring up the pregnancy._
> 
> _‘Leo, are you there?’_
> 
> _‘Leo, let me know if you got my message or not.’_
> 
> _‘Leeeeeoooooo’_
> 
> _‘Hello?’_
> 
> _‘I swear to god, Leo, you have GOT to stop leaving your phone on silent mode!’_
> 
> _‘This is really important Leo! Answer!’_
> 
> _‘Leo, please tell me you got my message!’_
> 
> _‘Is everything going okay over there?! Is Dad okay?!’_
> 
> _‘I’m getting a little anxious here, Leo.’_
> 
> _‘OMG, Leo, answer already! I will call you!’_
> 
> _‘Okay, I tried calling, and you didn’t answer. Either your phone is on silent, or you told my dad and he killed you.’_
> 
> _‘Oh, please tell me you didn’t tell my dad!’_
> 
> _‘WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?!’_
> 
> _'LEO, I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DON'T ANSWER YOUR PHONE, I'M TELLING MIKEY WHERE YOUR SECRET M &M STASH IS!'_
> 
> _‘LEO, I’M FREAKING OUT AND NOW DONNIE’S FREAKING OUT!’_
> 
> _‘LEO!!! UPDATE REQUIRED! NOW!’_

Leo sighed, and typed a reply.

 

> _*hey.*_

He hated texting.

Immediately his phone buzzed with a response.

 

> _‘OMG LEO!’_
> 
> _‘WHAT HAPPENED?! PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT MY MESSAGE IN TIME!!!’_

He narrowed his eyes and just sent ellipsis in reply.

There was a good moment of silence, during which he assumed there was a full blown freak out back at the lair, and then a buzz as a text message popped up.

 

> _‘OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!’_

He squinted at the text, trying to figure out what she was trying to say. Obviously she was panicking, but why was she chanting ‘gom’ over and over? Or was it ‘mgo’? What did that even mean?

 

> _‘How did he take it?!’_

Leo only sent another set of ellipsis in reply.

 

> _‘Shit! Shitshitshit!’_
> 
> _‘We can come over! Should we come over?!’_

Well, that probably wouldn't be the best idea right now. Leo wasn't sure if Kirby wanted his daughter to see him passed out drunk. Time to stop the silent sulking and actually reply.

 

> _*hes calmed down and is sleeping right now. wait until tomorrow*_
> 
> _‘Leo, I’m so sorry!’_

Leo scowled at his phone.

 

> _*april your dad is the one you should be apologizing to*_
> 
> _*you should have told him*_
> 
> _‘I know, I know! I messed this up!’_

Leo looked over at the mop, which he had used earlier to clean up after Kirby apparently drank more then he could handle and had gotten sick. Fig Newtons had gotten everywhere. He frowned and looked at his phone, reconsidering.

 

> _*though I guess maybe i do deserve a little bit of that apology*_
> 
> _‘I really am sorry, Leo.’_

Leo sighed.

 

> _*i know*_
> 
> _ *don’t worry. ill watch over him tonight* _
> 
> _‘... Thank you Leo...’_

* * *

 It was only about twenty minutes since the last text had been sent, and Leo was washing the dishes from the aborted supper, when he paused for a moment, squinting as he concentrated. Then his eyes narrowed, and he pulled a towel off the rack to dry his hands, before moving to silently stalk up the stairs.

“I don’t know, April.” Donatello was whispering to his fiancé behind him as he silently cracked up the window to her old bedroom. “It’s pretty quiet though. Perhaps they’re both OH JEEZ _LOUISE_!”

He had turned to poke his head through the open window, only to find Leo’s upside face only millimeters from his own snout, the nictitating membrane covering his big brother’s narrowed eyes to give them that deadly white pupil-less look.

Donnie jumped back in shock, then, realizing who it was, heaved a sigh of relief, still breathing heavily with hand on his chest. “Leo! You almost sent me into cardiac arrest!”

Leo dropped from the ceiling where he had been hanging, and crossed his arms. The nictitating membrane slid back with a blink, revealing his sapphire blue eyes once again, but it was clear from his posture and glare that he was not in the best of moods. “I thought I told you guys that tomorrow would be better.”

“Uh, well, it’s 12:15am. Technically, it is ‘tomorrow’.” Donnie rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish.

April shoved past him, worry on her features. “How’s Dad?! ”

“Sleeping.” Leo informed her, then he winced slightly and admitted. “ He... might be a little sore and have a bit of hangover in the morning. He had both more exercise and alcohol then his body is probably used to.”

“Neither of you are hurt, right?” Donnie asked worriedly.

Leo shook his head. “We’re both fine. And you’ll be glad to learn that Mr. O’Neil owns neither a taser, nor a shotgun. The worst he came after me with was a golf club.”

“Golf clubs!” Donnie eyes widened, and then he touched his knuckle to his chin in thought and began to pace. “I didn’t even think of that!" His flow chart would need revising.

“Oh god... This is all my fault! What... what can we do?” April dug her hands into her hair, her face a mask of worry and guilt.

“Well, you need to do what you should have done already, and talk to him once he wakes up.” Leo frowned at her disapprovingly. “And until you two get things settled between you, I don’t think Donnie should meet with him.” Heaven knew that it took long enough to settle Mr. O’Neil down tonight. He didn’t need to try and peel a triggered father off of a distressed brother’s shell as well. “For now, though, while he’s sleeping, we can’t do much. You guys might as well go home.”

“He’s my dad. I’m staying.” April said firmly. “I can help you watch over him.”

Leo sighed, then nodded. He didn't really have the right to deny her.

Donnie crossed his arms stubbornly. “If April’s staying, then I’m staying.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Donnie.” Leo frowned. “April and I can handle it for now.”

“Leo, I’m not leaving!” Donnie was insistent. “I know I can help!”

“Donnie...” Leo narrowed his eyes at his brother for a second, but then he took notice of his purple brother’s tensed posture, and his annoyance quickly deflated as he realized just how affected by this his brother was.

Since they had been children, Donnie had always had a desire, almost an obsession, to fix things. Not only fix them, but make them even better then before. He was never happier then when he was showing his brothers some device he had rescued from the garbage and modified. Now he feared something extremely important to him was broken, possibly beyond repair, and every fiber of Donnie’s being must have been stressing out over how to fix it.

Leo sighed, then gently put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Donnie, everything is going to be fine. Mr. O’Neil will accept your union, he was fairly understanding, and showed a great fondness for our family while I was talking with him. But right now, he’s feeling pushed aside and afraid that he’s losing his daughter. Let April talk to him alone for a bit and reassure him first that that’s not the case.” He gave Donnie’s shell a sympathetic pat. “Afterwards, you can both talk to him, but first he desperately needs some father daughter time.”

Donnie chewed his lip.

Leo sighed, then gave his brother a firm, reassuring squeeze around his shoulders. “Don’t worry, you have an important role in this plan, Donnie. But you need to let us do our parts first.”

Donnie exhaled and finally nodded. “Fine. But if you need me, call me. Immediately. Do you understand?”

Leo nodded, and helped April in through the window. “I’ll update you first thing in the morning. I promise.”

After he had shut the window and left a very reluctant Donnie outside, he followed April down the steps.

"How bad was it?" April was grasping her arm, looking miserable.

"I was able to deal with it." Leo shrugged.

They came up to Kirby, who was still sleeping soundly on the couch.

“Oh... I’m so sorry, daddy.” April whispered, pulling up the covers and kissing him on the forehead.

“So why didn’t you tell him?” Leo asked her.

April sighed and stood up, noticing one of the photo albums still sitting on the table. She walked over to it and traced the open page softly with a finger. “I just... he gets so worried about me sometimes, you know?” She hugged herself and looked off to the side. “And there are so many unknowns about this baby to worry about, especially this early on. I just... I wanted to wait until we had some concrete answers to give him first. Figure out what exactly we were dealing with. Then I could just show him the paperwork. ‘Yeah, this and this and this might be an issue, but we’ve got it covered with these plans here. You don’t have to worry.’”

Leo sighed, and nodded. “That made sense in a way, I suppose.” Looking around, he noticed a clear decorative glass vase with colored glass pebbles in the bottom. He walked over to it and inverted it, taking out one of the pebbles and putting the rest back in, before setting the vase back in place. “Why didn’t you tell me, then?”

“That was just me completely forgetting until too late that you didn’t know what I had planned.” April said apologetically. “I’m so sorry, Leo.”

Leo gave the pebble a few experimental tosses in his hand, then walked over dining room window. “Half a second.” He opened the window, and sharply lobbed the pebble out into the night. There was a yelp of surprised pain from outside, and Leo leaned out the window to yell, “ _I said go home, Donnie_!”

He waited a moment, glaring out into the dark night air, then he nodded in satisfaction and closed the window, dusting off his hands. “Alright. Let’s go talk in the kitchen for a bit. There’s a lot we need to discuss together about your dad and his future with this clan.”

April couldn’t help but give a small chuckle. Then she gave Leo a mock-severe look as she followed him into the kitchen, and tugged the tail of his bandana reproachfully. “Not only that, but there’s another important topic we must also discuss. Namely, that habit of yours where you leave your phone on silent mode, leaving us without any methods of contacting you with important information.”

“Oh.” Leo suddenly looked contrite and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah. I suppose we can talk about that as well.”

So Leo finished washing the dishes while April dried and put away. He wasn't really sure on where his leader jurisdiction extended regarding such personal issues like telling your dad about one's unexpected pregnancy, but he decided that there was plenty he could say as her friend and brother. They talked about making Kirby feel more involved, his future role as the baby's only grandfather, and his apparent need for assistance in the cooking department. Leo himself had to make his own concessions about his phone habits.

Afterwards, April sat in an armchair in the living room, watching over her father, until eventually she too fell asleep.

Leo found some blankets in a closet and covered her up. After making a final round to make sure the house was as put back together as best as he could get it, Leo settled down to spend the rest of the night keeping quiet vigil over the now dark and silent O’Neil house and its sleeping inhabitants.

* * *

 It was mid morning and Leo was meditating upstairs, when he heard April wake up. He just sat there for a while, until he could hear her moving around down in the kitchen. Taking that as his cue, he opened his eyes and stifled a yawn as he stood up, wearily stretching out the aches that came from sitting for so long in one place.

“Good morning, Leo.” April nodded her greeting as he strode into the kitchen. She looked tired, her clothes were rumpled from sleeping in them, and her hair was a piled-up mess clipped haphazardly up on top of her head, but there was a purpose in her movements. It looked to him like she had a plan, and was resolute in working things out with her dad.

“Good morning, April.” he gave her a nod, then, noticing that she had started the coffee pot, headed over to the cupboard and pulled himself out a mug.

“I’m making french toast if you want some.” April offered, gesturing towards a plate with a couple of finished pieces. She shrugged as she turned back to the skillet. “I used to always make it for Dad. It was one of his favorites.”

"Thank you. They smell delicious." Leo nodded, and grabbed a plate, piling on a few pieces of the offered french toast, to which, after a moment's thought, he added a pat of butter, dashed on some powered sugar, and then doused it in maple syrup.

“Ow... my head....” A very haggard Mr. O’Neil stumbled into the kitchen, dark circles under his eyes and one hand holding his head. He froze when he saw his daughter. “April?”

April lowered the spatula and rubbed her arm awkwardly. “Hi Dad...”

Leo took this as his cue to leave. He fished out a fork, then took the plate of food and cup of coffee. “Well, I’ll leave you two to talk. I’m going to take these to go, if you don’t mind. I’ll bring back the plate and mug later.”

Kirby absently nodded at Leo as he sat at the table, swallowing hard as he looked at his daughter.

Almost as a second thought, Leo grabbed an apple as well from a nearby basket of and started heading for the door.

“Leonardo?”

Mr. O’Neil’s voice stopped him, and he turned around curiously.

Kirby swallowed hard, and nodded, almost apologetically. “Thanks.”

Leo gave him a warm smile, and bowed slightly while balancing the breakfast in his hands. “Anything for family, Kirby. And, never doubt it for a second, you are family.” He turned to April. “If you’re okay now, I’m going to head back to the lair. Call us if you need anything.”

"We should be fine." April looked at him gratefully. “Thank you Leo. For everything.”

Leo nodded, and stepped out. Noticing that the neighborhood was quiet and void of any pedestrians or other prying human eyes, he paused for a moment outside, before heading across the street towards a tall oak tree on the corner of a neighbor’s lawn. Grasping the apple between his teeth and taking a moment to shift the mug of coffee and plate of french toast around so that he was balancing it all in one hand, he leapt up and skillfully scaled the tree without spilling a drop.

There, in a crook of the branches near the top and well out of sight, snored Donatello, sound asleep. Leo noticed a small spider was making its way across his brother’s snout, and he carefully picked it up and moved it off to a nearby branch, before turning to gently wake up the purple brother.

“Who? What? April?” Donnie sputtered, waking up with a start.

“She’s fine.” Leo sat down on the branch carefully next to him. “She and her dad are talking things out right now.” He offered Donnie the plate of french toast and the mug of coffee.

“Oh. Thanks Leo.” Donnie rubbed his eyes as he sat up, then took the plate and coffee gratefully.

Leo nodded, then leaned back against the trunk of the tree and began eating the apple.

Donnie eyed the mug of coffee, then glanced up at Leo.

“April made it.” Leo reassured him.

“Oh, thank god.” Donnie exhaled in relief, then took a long gulp, before giving a content sigh at the caffeine intake.

Leo chuckled and took another bite of his apple.

Donnie studied his plate of food forlornly, then looked up at Leo almost apprehensively. “Does... does he hate me?”

Leo shook his head, chewing. “No.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m certain of it.” Leo nodded, turning to look at Donnie seriously. “He just needed to work through some... rather intense emotions for a bit. Once he gets some time to get used to the idea, he'll be more open to talking with you. My guess is that after April is done talking with him this morning, she’ll call you in.”

“Oh. Good.” Donnie sounded extremely relieved. Then, obviously hungry, he dug into the french toast eagerly.

Leo examined his half eaten apple thoughtfully. “After what happened last night, though, I am going to assign you a task.”

Donnie looked at him curiously.

Leo pointed at him with the hand holding the apple. “Eventually, somebody is going to have to teach that man how to properly throw a punch.”

Donnie gave an awkward chuckle, and nodded. “Yeah, I can do that. Sorry you had to deal with that.”

Leo gave him a playful grin. "Consider it a test of my ability to keep calm and not 'freak', as Casey so elegantly phrased it." Convinced that Donnie was doing okay, and realizing that he needed to step back and let them resolve the rest of this situation on their own, he nodded at his brother. “Well, I think I’d better head back to the lair. You going to be fine?”

Donnie looked over to the house across the street and swallowed his bite of toast a little nervously, but nodded. “Yeah. April and I can handle this, together.”

Leo finished off his apple, wiped off his hands, and nodded to his brother. “Then good luck, Donnie.”

“Thanks big brother.” Donnie nodded gratefully. “Now go home and sleep for a bit. You look like you need it.”

Leo nodded, and, seeing as there was nothing left for him to do here, took off, leaping from a branch to a street light, then up to the railing of a fire escape, where he scrambled up and disappeared onto the rooftops.

As he ran, he pulled out his tPhone and dialed Raph. The phone only rang a few times before the red brother answered.

“Leo! How’s the situation with Kirby going?”

Ah. Proper verbal communication. In Leo's opinion, what phones were supposed to be for.

“We’re over the worst of it, I think.” Leo answered, stopping to crouch on the edge of the building, looking out over the city. “It’s all going to work out fine in the end.”

“Good.” Raph sounded relieved.

“So...” Leo said conversationally. “I’m going to be heading home.”

“Oh. _Oh!_ Um. How interesting.” Raph’s voice suddenly sounded a little panicked, and Leo couldn’t help but grin. This is why he had called, after all.  “Just curious, how long will it take you?” Raph was obviously trying to sound casual. A night with Casey, Raphael, and Mikey with no supervision probably meant that the lair was in less the stellar condition right now.

Leo couldn't help but chuckle. “Tell you what, Raph. I have some things to get done first. I’ll give you three hours.”

“I’ll take it!” Raph said quickly, eagerly jumping on the opportunity.

“See you when I get home then.” Leo chuckled, then, after they had ended the call, stood up and stretched. Well, he knew of a nice, hidden and secluded niche located behind a sculpture on the side of an old brick building nearby. Time for a well deserved cat nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should mention, as I have in previous stories, that I am an old fodgey, and cannot fluently speak the texting lingo of the youths today. I wasn't even planning on using texting as a medium of conversation, but it just sort of happened, and I went with it. I hope it's not too confusing. If so, let me know, and I'll edit it and try to clarify things better.
> 
> Also, yay! Figured out how to properly insert horizontal break lines!


	5. Lessons Learned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might push the 'T' rating a bit. There's nothing explicit, but adult things are learned.

After the promised three hours and feeling somewhat refreshed after his well-deserved catnap, Leo made his way back to the lair. Peeking in cautiously, he was impressed to notice that the lair was in a fairly decent state of cleanliness. A few pieces of colorful leftover water balloon were scattered here and there half hidden, it looked like there was some missed flecks of shaving cream on the ceiling, and wait... were those skateboard tire marks on the kitchen countertops?! Eh. He’d deal with that later. For now, he had to find his three brothers, both turtle and human, and have an important discussion with them.

He had no sooner hopped over the turnstile, when Mikey came tearing around the corner, a soaking wet Raph in close pursuit. Simultaneously laughing and squealing in terror, he immediately dashed behind Leo. Raph, with a roar, gave chase, and Leo found himself caught like a maypole in the middle of two brothers whirling about him.

He quickly reached out and grabbed them both by the tails of their bandanas, stopping them in their tracks on either side of him. “Okay. What did Mikey do?”

“Leo! Bro! Why do you guys always think it’s my fault?!” Mikey protested, not looking bothered at all by the fact that he was bent backwards with his mask in the shorter turtle’s grasp.

Leo gave him a look.

“Okay, yeah...” Mikey admitted. “But dude! It was just a joke!”

“My fist in your face will be really funny as well!” Raph snarled out his threat, letting his head drop low like a plow horse as his feet scraped across the floor, trying to pull forward out of Leo’s grasp to get at his baby brother.

“Oh, dude!” Casey said enthusiastically as he walked up to them. “You should’ve seen it, Leo! You know that old ‘water bucket sitting on top of a door’ trick, where if a dude walks through the doorway, it falls and they get soaked?"

“Mikey!” Leo turned to sternly narrow his eyes at the orange brother. “I thought I told you no more water buckets on doors after you accidentally destroyed those electronics that Donnie was carrying that one time!”

“No dude, there wasn’t any water! I swear! Just little plastic toys!” Mikey defended himself. 

Casey grinned. "Mikey apparently found a bag full of little plastic bugs that look a lot like cockroaches-”

“Which are all soon going to be tossed in the blender and _pureed_!” Raph interrupted him fiercely, apparently turning to a new tactic as he twisted around and worked on trying to pry Leo’s fingers loose.

"Then why is Raph soaking wet?" Leo asked suspiciously.

Mikey grinned innocently. “It just so happened that Raph was carrying a full bucket of dirty mop water when he opened that door and...”

“...and you won yourself a prize of a close, intimate encounter with both Mr. Punchalot and Mr. Hitsyouinface!” Raph fumed, futilely trying to get to the target of his wrath.

“Alright, enough, both of you!” Leo growled, tugging sharply on the bandanas. “I’ve already had a long night, I don’t need to break up your fights as well.”

“Oh, yeah!” Mikey completely forgot about Raph’s anger, twisting into Leo’s hold so that he was now inside the grasp and inches from Leo’s face. He grabbed Leo’s shoulders and look down at him anxiously. “Everything’s cool now though, right? With Mr. O’Neil? He’s not going to neuter Donnie, is he?!”

“What?! No!” Leo tried to take a step back to maintain a semblance of personal space. “Where did you get that idea?!”

Taking advantage of the moment of Mikey getting within reach, Raph decked Mikey, pounding him to the ground. Satisfied, he dusted off his hands. “Donnie might have been freaking out a little last night.”

Leo shot Raph a dirty look as he released his hold on his brothers. “They’re all talking things out right now. Calmly. I have full confidence that they will be able to work everything out. So no, I’m sure Donnie is not going to get ‘neutered’.”

“Oh, that’s a relief.” While on the ground, Mikey suddenly noticed the paper convenience store bag that Leo had set down to intervene earlier. “Ooh, Leo! What did you bring home? Is it for me?”

“I picked some items up on my way home.” Leo reached down and helped Mikey up. “It’s for what I have planned in place of training today.”

“No training?” Raph raised an eyebrow. “Since when did you skip training time so casually? Mr. O’Neil give you that much of a work out?”

“No, but I expect you guys to, when you learn what I have planned.”

Raph, Casey, and Mikey all shared an uneasy look. “And what might that be?”

Leo’s blue eyes gleamed dangerously.

* * *

 

When the turtles reached the end of their adolescent stage, they had experienced something of a growth spurt. Raphael had seen the most extreme change, shooting up to 6'4". Even Mikey had grown to six feet, though he still had the build and agility of an acrobat. Only Leo had seemed to miss out, only gaining a whole unimpressive inch in height, peaking at 5'7". But no matter the fact that he was now the shortest member of the Hamato clan, he was still their big brother, and he had to be strong for them.

He had been dreading this day for weeks now, but he couldn't show any weakness. He had trained his body to perfection, and had a vast wealth of knowledge and skills. He could do this. For his brothers, he had to do this. They were counting on him. He could not let them down.

“Now remember!” Leo snarled, tightening his grip on Mikey to prevent an escape while at the same time struggling to hold down Raph, who’s eyes were wide with horror. Casey apparently had given up on trying to escape, and was currently whimpering and trying to curl up into a fetal position. “Neither ‘Rhythm Method’ nor ‘Pulling Out’ are effective or reliable forms of birth control. The safest and most effective course of action, besides celibacy, is to use proper protection for yourself.”

“Leo, _please_!” Mikey wailed, trying to cover both sides of his head with his hands. “My naivety and innocence! Think of my poor naivety and innocence!”

Currently, Leo had the much larger Raphael firmly pinned plastron down on the floor of the dojo under one knee, using some complicated grip to wrench the red brother’s arm behind his shell and keep him immobilized. Leo’s other arm was securely holding a pleading Mikey in a headlock, while his right foot was pressed down firmly in the middle of Casey’s shoulder blades, holding the panicking human flat against the floor.

“You’re twenty three now, Mikey.” Leo was unsympathetic. “You’re old enough to knock somebody up, you’re old enough to get ‘The Talk’. Now...” Raph managed to get one knee under himself to try and lunge away in panic, but yelped and twitched frozen in place as Leo hit a pressure point, “I have purchased a box of condoms. The box will be open, and placed in the cabinet under the bathroom sink, hidden in the back behind all the cleaning supplies. I assure you, if any were to mysteriously disappear from the box, I will make sure not to notice, nor will any questions will be asked.”

“This is not happening. Please, tell me this is not happening!” Casey folded his arms around his head, chanting and humming loudly to himself.

“Listen closely, Jones.” Leo dug his heel into the human’s back, who gave a yelp. “You and Raph are the ones I’m most worried about!”

“Why me?!” Raph squawked, as he fought to throw his merciless, cruel blue brother off of his shell and escape.

“Oh, don’t you think I haven’t noticed the increased frequency of ‘Kissy Nose Time’ with Mona, Raph.” Leo lunged as Mikey broke free, catching his fleeing brother by the ankle before he could get very far, flipping him over and dragging him struggling back by the shell to put him in another one armed hold, squeezing hard. “Now, to be most effective, the protection must be worn from start to finish, not just at the end. Make sure it is undamaged, even the slightest rip or tear will make it ineffective. Also, it’s important that the condom fits properly. That means you don’t pick out the biggest size in the box just to inflate your ego. It will not work in practice. Do. You. Hear. Me. Jones?!”

“Ow! OW! Yes, yes! I hear you! Oh, god, just make this end already! Please!”

Leo was about to reply, but then paused, lifting his head to listen. Down in the lair’s entrance, he could hear the quiet rattling of the turnstile bars being turned as somebody walked through them.

“Guys! We’re back!” Donnie’s voice called out from down by the entryway.

Leo frowned, eyes narrowed, then nodded. “We will continue this conversation later.” he informed them, releasing his holds. They all gasped in relief and scrambled away.

“Let’s reschedule it for ‘Cold Day in Hell’! Does that work for you, Leo?” Raph scrabbled for the door of the dojo, face as red as his bandana. “Good! I’ll pencil it in on my calendar!”

Mikey looked at Casey as they both bolted out the dojo door, obviously impressed. “Duuuude. I didn’t realize you had it in so good with the Big Guy upstairs!”

"Neither did I!" Casey gasped, looking upwards gratefully. "But Dude, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!"

Leo stepped out of the dojo after his fleeing brothers, and noticed that Mr. O’Neil was there as well, carrying a leather satchel.

“Oh, Leo!” April greeted him, and he noticed that both she and Donnie were wearing their black silk wrist guards with the wedding rings openly now. From his friendly but nervous demeanor, Mr. O’Neil must have given his blessing. “I hope you don’t mind, but we decided to invite my dad to supper. You know, to hang out with the whole family.”

Leo gave Donnie a quick, inquiring look, and the purple genius nodded slightly, silently communicating without words that the talk had gone well, and things were, if not completely fixed, at least heading down the right path. Leo felt relieved.

“I hope I’m not intruding.” Kirby rubbed his arm and gave Leo a somewhat self conscious smile.

“Of course you are always welcome.” Leo gave a polite bow, and offered to take his jacket, leading him in. “Please, come in and make yourself at home.”

“DONNIE! APRIL!” Mikey wailed dramatically, flinging himself onto the startled purple genius’s left arm and clinging to him like a starfish. “I’m traumatized! Leo traumatized me!”

“What?” Donnie caught his brother and looked down at him, baffled.

“Leo’s gone mad with power, man!” Casey just as dramatically latched himself tightly to Donnie’s right arm, a haunted look in his eyes. “Somebody has to stop him before it’s too late! He was torturing us!”

“We were having an educational talk.” Leo calmly corrected him, walking into the kitchen to start some water boiling. “Mr. O’Neil, would you care for some tea?”

“Oh, um, yes. Please.” Kirby looked at the scene unfolding him with some uncertainty.

“What did you do to these guys, Leo?” April looked amused.

Raph had stomped over to the couch down in the living area and plopped down, arms crossed tightly across his chest and shoulders hunched while he avoided eye contact with everybody. “Nothing that we are ever going to discuss or talk about ever again. Ever.”

“In light of recent events, we were having a long overdue discussion about... personal responsibility.” Leo chose his words carefully.

“Oh! Wait! Were you talking to them about using birth control and safe sex practices?” Kirby’s eyes lit up.

“ _Dad_!” April squeaked in horror, for no child EVER wanted to hear their parent say the word ‘sex’.

Kirby began rummaging through his satchel. “I also brought an informational video for you all to watch regarding the subject that I thought you guys would find interesting. I borrowed it from work.” He pulled out a VHS tape labeled with old masking tape. ‘ _Be Cool, Take Care of Your Tool_ ’ was hand written in marker. “We can watch it tonight.” He looked over to Donnie. “Together.”

“That...” Leo’s voice cracked just slightly, and he stopped and cleared his throat, continuing in a careful, neutral tone. “That was... so very thoughtful of you, Mr. O’Neil. But it shouldn’t be necessary for you to put yourself through all that trouble. I have covered the basics already, and...”

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all, Leonardo.” Kirby jumped in, an odd gleam in his eyes. “And one can’t ever have too much education when it comes to safety, don’t you agree?”

A horrified silence fell over the lair.

“I also brought several pamphlets and reading material on the subject.” Kirby offered, pulling out some brightly colored and colorfully-illustrated books and brochures out of that satchel.

Leo hesitantly picked up one of the brochures, and tried to hide the uncomfortable blush that no doubt colored his cheeks as he glanced at it. He looked at Kirby uncertainly. Apparently the man was more skilled at passive-aggressive revenge then he had assumed.

* * *

 

Leo had to give Kirby credit. The Hamato clan had faced alien invasions, gone toe to toe with literal monsters and supernatural horrors, and faced down nightmare fuel on a regular basis. Very few things could inspire the level of discomfort and fear that permeated the room right now. If any of them could flee right now, he was sure they would be literally pushing one another over to try and get out first.

But, right now, Kirby sat behind them calmly in a chair, watching over them as the video played, and silently daring any of them to try and leave. Raph and Donnie were cringing and had their heads halfway pulled into their shells, not daring to disappear all the way in with Kirby watching, but obviously tempted. Mikey sat there, eyes wide and looking traumatized. Casey had his knees pulled up and was hugging them tightly, rocking a little bit. And April looked like she wanted to _die_ right there and then.

Leo tried to distract himself by wondering just what went into the production of this educational video. He could only imagine a panel of well meaning but extremely out of touch adults getting together and discussing how to make this ‘cool’ and ‘speak with the youths’. It was uncomfortable, horrifying, campy, traumatizing, and, like a particularly gruesome train wreck, nobody seemed able to look away. There were roller blades, backward hats, forced and awkward dialogue, and even a cringeworthy attempt at a rap battle. All the while, uncomfortably detailed diagrams and sketches of the internal parts of certain anatomical parts were often displayed. Leo found himself learning far more about human male anatomy then he had ever wished to know.

Finally, his ‘Big Brother’ instincts overwhelmed his ‘Duty’ instincts. Using subtle movements and making sure that Kirby didn’t notice, Leo gently reached out with one hand and grabbed the tails of Mikey’s mask, shifting the orange cloth to the side a little so that his little brother’s eyes were now covered and he couldn’t see.

Mikey didn’t move or make a sound to give his actions away, but did mouth a silent ‘ _...Thank... you..._!’.

* * *

 

“So, Donnie, April. Have you guys given any thoughts to wedding plans yet?” Leonardo asked as they all sat together later that evening. After such a traumatic day for his clan, he had decided that several rounds of benign, innocent Disney movies were called for, and thus they were all seated in the living room for a relaxing movie night, eating their favorite take out Chinese food and waiting for the movie to finish rewinding so they could start the next one.

The engaged couple, who were sitting together, April leaning into Donnie’s plastron, looked at one another, then shrugged.

“We talked a little about it. We were thinking maybe of holding it outdoors, out on the farm.” April mused thoughtfully, eating a wonton.

"I was thinking sometime in June." Donnie added, "The weather should be nice at that time."

Leo thought this over. "That only gives us a month to get everything together."

"Well, like I said, I wanted to get married before I got too big." April gestured towards her midriff, which, at only around eight weeks, was still fairly unchanged. "It won't be anything too fancy. We can't really do anything big or complicated. I was thinking of just a simple ceremony with our friends to witness it." She looked at her dad gratefully. "Dad saved Mom's wedding dress, and already said I could use it.”

Kirby swallowed hard and nodded, giving her a paternal smile of pride. “She would be so proud of you. You’re going to look beautiful in it, April.”

“But what about flowers?! Balloons?! Ribbons and streamers?! Cake! Catering?!” Mikey had eagerly taken up a box of sweet and sour chicken and was talking around mouthfuls of it. He swallowed it all in an impressive gulp. “A dance! Tell me there’s at least going to be a dance! I’ve always wanted to go to a wedding dance!”

Donnie’s eyes gleamed at that, and he looked thoughtful for a moment. “I suppose I could throw together a small sound system with adequate speakers and lighting system for a dance floor.”

“And by small, you mean ‘They’re going to be able to hear this from the next county’, right?” Raph grunted as he stabbed a piece of beef out of the large bowl of chow mein over white rice he held.

“Oh please say yes.” Mikey gasped.

The VCR gave a ‘ _chunk_ ’ noise and stopped whirring, and Casey ejected the ‘Robin Hood’ tape. “K’, its done rewinding.” The muscular brawler in a black muscle shirt dug into the pile of videos lines up, and lifted one up. “‘Little Mermaid’ was next, right?”

"Oh yeah! Under the sea is the place to be!" Mikey whooped. "Love that movie!"

“Oh, that was one of your favorites, April.” Kirby turned to his daughter, smiling at the memories. “Remember? You kept trying to comb your hair with forks.”

“Dad! Don't tell them that!” April rubbed the back of her head, embarrassed. “Wow, I haven’t seen this movie in years! I remember I liked it because she had red hair too.”

Donnie was quiet for a moment, then looked sadly at her. “I am sorry you’re not going to get a fairy tale wedding, April. If I could give you one, I would.”

April laughed, and grabbed his plastron, pulling him into a kiss. “I got my Prince Charming.” she said, looking at him with adoring eyes. “What more could I want then that, Donnie?”

Donnie melted into a goofy grin.

Leo suddenly grew thoughtful.

“Dudes!” Mikey threw himself over them from behind, draped over their shoulders and half hanging down between them. “Can I be your wedding planner? Please? Pleaseplease _please_?!”

April laughed. "We'll see, Mikey!"

Donnie gave a little growl in the back of his throat at the sudden intrusion wedged between him and April, and flipped Mikey over to land on the floor in front of them. Mikey quickly and gracefully rolled backwards to end up in a sitting position instead, completely unfazed. “I’m the BEST at that sort of stuff, yo! I mean, you should see the entertainment I set up for Mr. O’Neil tonight!”

“You mean the movies?” Casey looked at him questioningly as he walked back over and took his seat. “Because that wasn’t your idea, dude.” He started fishing around for the remote to start the next video.

“Holy Shit! _FUCK_!” Raph suddenly leapt back, terrified, instinctively flinging his bowl of Chow Mien away from him like it had burnt his hands.

Unfortunately, Leo was sitting on the floor next to him.

There was a moment of stunned silence, and then, calmly, Leo reached up and peeled the bowl off of his face, revealing the fact that his face and mask were now absolutely dripping in brown sauce and covered in rice, beef, vegetables, and crunchy noodles. A water chestnut stuck to the side of his face, then slowly began sliding down.

Leo looked down into the bowl, frowned, reached in, and pulled out a little plastic cockroach. Raph, who at first looked startled and apologetic, immediately went still.

“Huh.” Mikey mused, watching them. “Y’know, I hadn’t planned quite on getting Leo involved in this as well. Tonight’s entertainment might be a little more intense then I had planned on.” He pondered on this for a moment. “Not that I regret anything, of course.”

Leo lowered the bowl and looked to Raph. Raph, face dark now, nodded in agreement. Then they both turned as one. “ ** _MIKEY!_** ”

With a yelp and a wail, Mikey turned and fled, two furious brothers close behind.

Movie forgotten, the others sat back and watched the carnage unfold.

“Poor Mikey.” April said, not sounding too sympathetic.

“Both Raph and Leo working together. This can’t end well for him.” Casey agreed, stretching out his legs and obviously enjoying the show.

“We should make some popcorn.” Donnie observed.

Kirby looked startled and completely taken aback at first. Then, noticing that the others weren’t in least bit concerned, he eventually relaxed a little, even chuckling a few times at the antics that Mikey tried to keep ahead of the red and blue brothers, and the flawless teamwork and counters that those two used to thwart him.

* * *

 

The night eventually ended with everybody down by the clan huddled together by one of the larger underground water flows in the sewer, watching a hastily thrown together miniature Viking boat floating down the man-made river, all the little plastic toy cockroaches on board.

Leo stood straight and proud, looking every inch the leader of his clan. One hand was behind his back, giving him an authoritative look, the other was on a grieving Mikey’s shell comfortingly. “Everybody in place?” he barked out. “Then Casey, begin the dirge.”

Casey pressed the play button on his phone, and bagpipe music started mournfully filling the sewer cavern.

Leo unfolding the arm behind his back, raising it slightly. “Archers at the ready...”

Raph and Donnie pulled up their bows in response.

“Fire!” Leo snapped his hand forward.

Two flaming arrows flew through the air, and hit the miniature ship with perfect accuracy, immediately setting it and all the plastic toys on board ablaze.

“Nooo! Oh, cruel world! Why must it be so?!” Mikey wailed, falling to his knees dramatically.

April patting him comfortingly, while Mr. O’Neil took his hat off his head and held it over his heart.

* * *

 

It was pretty late by the time the Viking Funeral had concluded, and Kirby accepted the invitation to stay overnight and join them for breakfast and maybe a little training the next day.

Later, once he was sure that everybody was sound asleep and all was well in his home, Leo slipped out silently into the sewers to begin to hunt. It was a long shot as to whether he could even find what he was looking for, but if he could pull this off, he could give April and his brother everything they wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For any Non-Americans reading this, Raph is 195 cm, Mikey is 182 cm, and Leo is 173 cm. So he’s not extremely short, but more of an average height. I didn’t add Donnie, but he’s still the tallest, 199 cm, or about 6'5", but he’s still quite ‘svelte’, so he looks a lot smaller then Raph.


	6. Plans Put Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngh. This chapter wasn't supposed to exist. The contents of this chapter were minor things that were going to get a passing mention at most, and we could move on to the next plot point, but as I wrote, the little things became bigger, and soon I had a chapter written that was shorter then I was happy with, but long enough that it would be awkward to attach to the next one.
> 
> That being said, I'm not sure how long the next part is going to be. I plan on it being only one chapter, but, knowing the way I write, it'll probably end up two chapters, possibly more. Shenanigans are in the future.

_~Two weeks to Wedding Day~_

Several straight pins with colorful plastic ends were clamped tightly between his green lips, and, concentrating, Leo gathered up the pearly white fabric carefully before beginning his measurements, taking out and sliding the pins in at intervals.

“Careful!” April squeaked, looking at him kneeling behind her nervously. “Don’t poke me!”

Leo paused, then, unable to speak with the straight pins clamped in his mouth, settled for giving her a look. Please. He was a highly trained ninja who specialized in precision attacks. He wasn’t going to accidentally poke her with a straight pin.

April was standing on a small wooden platform in the dojo, dressed in a flowing white wedding dress with poofy arms and rhinestones sewn in patterns, though she had jeans and tennis shoes on underneath.

Raph showed her a page in a bridal magazine. “So, April, you were thinking of curls like this, right?”

April glanced at the model he was pointing at. “Ooh, yes! I like the way they pile on her head. But do you think my hair is long enough for something like that?"

Raph reached over and gently ran a few strands of her red hair through his green fingers, gauging the length. "Yeah, I think we could pull it off."

April studied the picture a little more closely. "How did they get that sparkle in her hair? Did they actually use glitter? That seems like it would get everywhere.”

Raph turned the magazine back to himself, studying it. “I think it’s a spray you can get? We could probably get our hands on some if you really want it. The glitter look would look nice if we added a tiara like this chick here is wearing.”

Leo finished adding the last of the pins. “Thus are uttered words and sentences I never thought I’d hear coming from Raph.”

“Oh, fuck you Leo.” Raph snorted at him without any real venom, flipping through the magazine. “We agreed that you wouldn’t mock me if I helped April out with her hair, and I wouldn’t mock you for your granny embroidery skills.”

“First off, don’t swear, Raph. I wasn’t mocking you. I think it’s a very nice thing you’re doing for April. I was just making an observation.” Leo fluffed the back of the dress a bit, then fished around for some more straight pins. “And second, I’m not doing embroidery, I’m performing alterations.”

Beyond the dojo’s curtained entrance, in the kitchen area, Mikey suddenly barked out in an authoritative tone, “Halt! Unauthorized civilian, you are in a restricted zone!”

“Oh for the love of... I'm not trying to peek in on April's dress, I’m just getting some water, Mikey.” Donnie’s voice sounded annoyed.

“Sir, I repeat, this is a restricted zone! I’ll give you only one more warning! Please, calmly vacate the area.”

“Mikey, seriously, knock it off. I’m not going to... Hey! Ow! Stoppit! Ow! Fine! I’m leaving! Ow! I’m leaving already!”

April snickered. “Poor Donnie.”

Mikey poked his head in through the curtain, raising his dark aviator sunglasses as he peered in. He had an old, discard security guard hat on, and lanyard looped around his neck with a plastic nametag that apparently a ‘Peter Jorgunson’ had at one point lost down a sewer grate. “Bossman! There was a Level Two Code Romeo, but I’m happy to report that the perimeter is secure once again.”

“Good job Mikey.” Leo said absently, adjusting some of the pins.

“Nothing is getting by while the Mikster is on the job, Boss!” Mikey gave him a sharp salute, then he disappeared through the curtain again, once again standing guard.

“Well, I think I’ve gotten all the measurements I needed.” Leo examined the dress, then stuck a few more pins in. “I’m just going to let out the hip area a little, and then you wanted me to take off the poof on the sleeves and replace them with a flowing tulle fabric?”

Raph snickered, turning a page in his hair styling magazine.

“If it won’t be too difficult.” April bit her lips and looked down at her mother's dress that her dad had presented her with. “I don’t want to change too much, even if we had more time, but the eighties' shoulder poof is a bit much, even for me.”

“It shouldn’t be beyond my abilities.” Leo stood up and began putting away his sewing kit. Raph helped April step down from the platform, and she stepped behind the divider set up so she could peel off the dress and change back into her street clothes.“I’ll try to have it done by the middle of next week. We’ll have to do another fitting then, and make sure I did everything correctly.”

"I can't thank you guys enough." April said over the divider as she quickly changed. "I know we won't be able to pull off a really fancy wedding, but it means a lot to me that you guys are doing so much." She stepped out, April handed the dress to Leo.

“It is our pleasure, April.” Leo bowed slightly, before taking the dress from her. “Anything for family.”

Raph just gave a noncommittal grunt and handed her the magazines and books. “I bookmarked the pages you were interested in. We’ll talk about it more later.”

“Thanks Raph.” She stood up on her toes and gave him a peck on the cheek.

His face reddened a little, and he looked away, obviously embarrassed.

“Well, if we’re done here, I’m going to go meet my dad for lunch.” April headed for the dojo exit. "Thanks again, guys!"

"Give your father our regards!" Leo waved a farewell. He began hanging the dress up on a large padded hanger. As he did so, he glanced at his red brother conversationally. “Say, Raph. You never did tell me where or why you learned the art of hairdressing.”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Raph was less then enthused about expanding on that particular topic.

Leo chuckled. “You do realize that now that I know, I will get the full story behind that eventually.”

“Oh, fuck you, Leo.” Raph growled red faced, flipping the curtain aside as he stomped out past his orange security guard brother into the lair.

“Don’t swear, Raph.” Leo grinned after him, then shifted the dress to one arm as he fished out then tossed a small colorful plastic bag to Mikey. “Alright, job well done, Mikey. The situation is now under control. Here’s the agreed on payment.”

Mikey caught the bag of gummy bears in one hand easily, and lifted his aviator sunglasses, resting them above his orange mask. “Sweet! Thanks, Leo!”

Shaking his head in amusement and wonder, Leo turned and disappeared into his bedroom, the dress cradled gently in his arms. Alone in the dark room, he exhaled slowly, feeling his mood shifting and growing more grim.

"April is going to look beautiful in this dress, isn't she, Sensei?" Leo asked as he walked across the room.

On the floor near the far wall of the sparsely decorated room lay a woven meditation mat surrounded by candles, where Splinter's ghost knelt. His father didn't open his eyes, but a proud smile formed on his muzzle, and he gave the smallest of nods.

Leo hung up the dress on a pipe, making sure that it didn't touch the floor. It would be safe in here, his brothers respected this room enough that they wouldn't enter without his permission.

Leo let his hands touch the satin and tulle fabric gently, then he sighed and moved to light the candles that were placed around the mat. After lighting some incense and making a small offering and prayer, he knelt before the rat spirit.

Splinter opened his eyes and looked to him calmly, waiting for him to speak.

"Sensei, I am troubled." Leo started hesitantly, bowing his head slightly. "I can sense changes are going to happen to our clan. In our clan, even." He swallowed hard, and his hands clenched at his knees. "Bigger then just April and Donnie and the coming baby, I think. I... I'm not sure how to describe it... this feeling. It's heavy and thick, like there's a big storm on the horizon. A tempest that's ready to rip up everything that's old and familiar, and leave us to tread in unfamiliar waters."

The candles sputtered and crackled as if a small breeze breathed over them, and Leo caught Splinter's comforting scent fleetingly. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, reveling in the familiar and calming scent. Then slowly, deliberately, he breathed out long and slow, letting the feeling comfort him. Grateful but still troubled, he looked up to his father's patient face. "I hope... I hope that I'm strong enough to protect and lead the family through these changes." He swallowed hard, then admitted in a whisper. "I wish you were here."

Splinter didn't move for a moment, and then he reached out and put a non-corporeal hand on Leo's shoulder, and where the transparent hand rested, Leo felt a warmth spread. He studied his father's whiskered face, and saw only confidence and pride there. The ghost of his father nodded at him, then closed his eyes, concentrated, and waved his other hand over a group of four of the lit candles. The flames flickered, danced, and then changed colors. Tiny blue, red, orange, and purple fires leapt up towards the ghost's hand, danced around one another, and merged into a single, colorful pillar of flame. After a few heartbeats, he moved his hand back, and the candles settled back down into normal, dim yellow candlelight.

Leo was quiet for a moment, then bowed low. "Thank you, father."

When he sat back up, the ghost was gone, and he was alone once more in the room with just the candles. He moved to settle down on the mat himself to meditate, the image of the four colored flames still burning bright in his mind. He would take his father's lessons to heart.

His brothers, his family, they were his true strength. No matter what came in the future, they needed to be able to rely on him.

He would be stronger for them.

* * *

Refreshed and calmed again after a short meditation session, and with the precious dress securely hung in his room, Leo stepped out into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before he headed towards the lab. Donnie was sitting on the floor, tongue stuck out slightly as he tightened some bolts on some sort of contraption he was building out of what looked like an old office printer.

Leo set the bottle on the table. “Hey Donnie. Did April leave already?”

Donnie nodded, concentrating on his work. “Yeah, she wanted to be there when Mr. O'Neil got off work. I've got to get my work done here for now, but I’ll join her for supper later.”

Leo nodded. “I’m going out for a quick exercise run. Is there anything specific you want me to keep an eye out for while I’m out there?”

Donnie paused, tapped the screwdriver to his chin a few times, giving thought to the question for a moment. “If you could find a few old microwaves, that would be extremely helpful.” He went back to tinkering. “Also, any cables or wiring you can find, I can’t get enough of those.”

Leo nodded. “Right, I’ll keep an eye out for them then. I should be back in a few hours.” He adjusted his katanas on his back as he began walking towards the exit.

Raph, who was leaning against the wall by the door to the lab, grabbed the tails of his mask as he walked by, stopping him. “Hey. Leo.”

Leo looked up at him, confused. “Uh, hey?”

Raph looked down at him and narrowed his electric green eyes accusingly. “You haven’t asked any of us to join you on an exercise run in almost a week and a half now.”

“Okay?” Leo blinked at him, perplexed. “Uh, Raph, would you care to join me for on my training run?”

“Eh, fine. If you insist.” Raph released the blue cloth tails and stood up.

Leo readjusted his face mask, studying his red brother in confusion. Huh. Raph had always treated Leo’s training runs as little more then tolerated homework, always grumbling and complaining as Leo almost pushed him out the door.

A grin slowly crossed his face.

 _Awww_... Raph did care!

As if reading Leo’s thoughts, Raph stiffly gave an annoyed snort, as if it were just the normal situation of Leo ordering him out to train and exercise, and turned away, trying to act casual about it. “Mikey wants to come along too.”

“I do?” Mikey looked up from his bag of gummy bears, obviously taken by surprise by this news.

“Yes, you do.” Raph checked his sais before attaching it back to his belt.

“Oh. Okay.” Mikey blinked, and grabbed a mouthful of gummy bears, walking over to them. “Hey, Leo! Can we stop at the skateboard park after we’re done?”

“Actually, I’m planning on taking a path that skirts near the dock areas and scouting the sewers around there.” Leo informed him as he walked through the turnstile and led them out the lair.

Mikey leapfrogged over the turnstile himself, hopped up in front of him and started walking backwards, looking a little curious. “Really? We don’t usually stomp around in that neighborhood.”

“All the more reason to scout it out and make sure everything is quiet.” Leo stopped at a metal ladder, placing a hand on it and looking up at the manhole that led to the surface. “And please don’t ‘stomp’ around. We’re ninja, remember?”

“That fact isn’t in danger of being forgotten, Leo.” Raph rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to keep reminding us.”

"Just... if you guys are going to come with me on this training run, then I'd like you to take it seriously." Leo shot him a look, then turned and nimbly scaled the ladder. He carefully pushed up the manhole cover, and, after taking notice that the coast was clear, led his two brothers out into the night into the city.

He hadn't been expecting to have company along tonight, but it shouldn't matter too much. He could still carry out his plan.

* * *

 The sewers in this area were coated in a heavy layer of algae and seaweed, the occasional metal can, glass bottle, and other bits of garbage laying about. The smell of saltwater was thick here, and everything had a salty feel to it.

Leo dropped down from a drain pipe and landed on the stone floor with not even a whisper of sound. His nostrils flaring as he sniffed the air, he reached down and gently ran his fingers across the floor. He then exhaled in disappointment and stood up, looking around. It was pretty obvious that this area was extremely abandoned.

Raph landed quietly next to him, and took a look around as well. Mikey rolled out of the drainage pipe, and landed lightly on Raph’s shell in a crouch. Raph pretended not to notice him.

Standing up and balancing easily on his much larger brother’s shell, Mikey reached up and scraped some of the algae off of the ceiling, examining it. "Hey, this brings back memories. Remember when we used to live off of algae and worms, bros?" Sniffing it curiously, he then popped it in his mouth.

“Mikey! Don’t...don’t eat that.” Leo at first looked startled that his orange brother would actually eat something that he peeled off a sewer tunnel wall, then sighed in resignation. He really shouldn’t have been startled by that fact.

“Huh. Salty.” Mikey plopped down on Raph’s shoulders, smacking his lips thoughtfully. Raph snorted, reached up, lifted Mikey off by the shell, and deposited him on the floor next to him.

Leo studied the floor again. “It must flood regularly with sea water.” He frowned, it was quite obvious that this area was completely uninhabitable for anything without gills.

“You’re looking for something.” Raph looked down at Leo and crossed his arms.

"What?" Leo looked up at his red brother, startled by the out of the blue accusation.

"You've been sneakier lately then usual, and I couldn't figure out why." Raph looked around the abandoned tunnel. “This is why you’ve been going out alone all last week, isn’t it? You're up to some shit.”

Leo rubbed the back of his neck, looking off to the side. “What gives you the idea that I’m planning something?” He cleared his throat. "And don't swear, Raph."

“Leo...” Raph narrowed his eyes.

Leo sighed and threw up his hands. “Fine!” he surrendered, turning to his brothers. “I’m still not entirely sure this plan will work. I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure I would be able to pull it off.”

Shoving another piece of algae in his mouth, Mikey looked interested. “Dude!” he said with his mouth full. “Lay it on us, bro!”

“If it’s so important to you that you’ve been looking all over the city for it, then yeah, tell us.” Raph frowned, looking at Leo. “You should share this kinda crap with us. We might be able to help.”

Leo chewed his lip for a moment. “Okay, you’re going to think this is a really dumb idea, but we might be able to help Donnie and April with it. Now, here’s my plan...”

Leo carefully explained the details of his idea, and then, once that was out in the open, looked to his brothers.

Yup. Their individual reactions were pretty predictable.

Raphael stood there, completely stock still except for the occasional eye twitch. He looked speechless and almost horrified. Finally, he held up a finger and croaked out, “Is it too late to rescind my offer to help?”

Mikey, on the other hand, looked as if Leo had just told him that he had just discovered the existence of a entire pizza dimension, and they wanted to crown him king. His hands had flown to his mouth, his eyes were huge and sparkling, and he only made an ever increasingly loud squeaking inhaling noise of joy that finally accumulated in a delighted squeal. His hands flew up to grasp the sides of his head in disbelief. “Leo, that had to be the most beautiful string of words anybody has ever said to me!” He looked over to Leo with wide, amazed eyes. “Dude! Will you marry me?! We could totally make this a double wedding!”

Leo facepalmed. “Mikey...”

“Come here, you beautiful turtle you!” Mikey moved towards Leo, arms outstretched. “You need a big ol’ smooch!”

Leo’s hand shot out, quickly catching him by the face and stopping him. “That will _NOT_ be necessary.” he growled. Then he sighed. “Mikey, don’t get too excited. Like I said, I’m not sure I can even pull it off. I haven’t been successful so far.” This is why he didn’t want to say anything. He didn’t want to disappoint his brothers if he failed.

“Mmmph! Mmphmph mmmmmph!” Mikey grabbed Leo’s hand and peeled it off of his face, inhaling. “Dude! We’ll totally do this! Now that you’ve told us, we can help! Right Raph?!”

“Nnngh...” Raph looked less then enthused.

“Let me guess.” Leo moved over to put a brotherly hand on his shell. “You hate everything about this plan. It’s stupid, I’m stupid, everything is stupid.”

“Nngth.” Raph didn’t sound like he disagreed.

“Buuuut.... you’ll still help. Because you know that it’ll make Donnie and April happy.” Leo finished.

“Nnnnnnnuuuuuuugh....” Raph’s teeth ground.

“You’re a good guy, Raph.” Leo grinned and gave his shell a pat, then turned, fishing a map of the city out of a pouch. “Here’s where I’ve looked so far...”

His two brothers leaned over his shell, examining the map alongside him. Together, they planned and schemed and figured out the best way to carry out the Plan. Now that he wasn't working alone, Leo realized that he could cover much more ground, and both Mikey and, surprisingly, Raph came up with good ideas on how and where to search, and pointed out hiding places that he hadn't thought of.

And their teamwork paid off. A few days later, while searching his section of the city, Raphael was the one who found what they were looking for.

With the help of his brothers, Operation Fairy Tale Wedding was a go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh, you were so close and yet so far in interpreting Splinter's message, Leo. Raph kinda nudged you in the right direction later, but yeah... The leader in blue _might_ have some issues to work out in the future.
> 
> As is probably obvious, I went for the silent haunting for Splinter. It felt too awkward and easy having him talk, so I went with the theory that, now that Shredder is dead, his sons are (for the most part) doing well on their own, and he can rest easy, Splinter moved on, but still pops in to check on them once in a while. Audibly speaking takes up a lot of energy, so he's going to save it for emergencies.
> 
> And I assure you that Raph's hairdressing skills have an explanation. I'm not entirely who exactly is going to spill that particular story yet, though.


	7. Negotiations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my apologies for the long wait between chapters here! For those that read it before, you may have noticed that a whole chapter disappeared. I was having a major writer's block when it came to this story, and it's all Orange Turtle's fault. The whole theme I wanted to convey in this story is that of the bond between brothers, and the chapter I had posted pretty much left out Mikey, and I didn't like that. BUT, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how to even BEGIN writing a drunk Michelangelo, and after re-reading it, I wasn't happy with how it was going, so I took it down. After all this time, I think I MIGHT have figured out a way to rewrite it, but in the meantime, here's this.
> 
> Also, after a month and a half of writing my In Search of Shadows story, it's kinda weird going back to Adult Turtle!Leo instead of Smol Child!Leo.

* * *

_~Ten Days Before the Wedding~_

* * *

 

"I don't like this." Raph frowned, studying the doorway set into the wall in front of them.

"I dunno, I think it's neat!" Mikey ran his hands over the weathered wood and looked charmed. "'The Sparrow's Song Tavern'."

Leo stood there with his arm across his plastron, studying the situation."It's... not subtle..." he finally offered.

They were at the arraigned meeting place deep in the sewers. And things had, up to that point, been fairly normal for a sewer; rivers of questionably colored water, bits of garbage floating by, rats the size of cats scurrying around...

But here, the wall of the sewer had transformed into a wooden wall with shuttered windows, a thick wooden door with a worn brass handle, and a creaky wooden sign dangling down and swaying in non-existent wind.

Leo took a deep breath, steeled himself for what he knew lay ahead, then pushed forward. "Come on, guys. Remember, we're doing this for Donnie and April."

He cautiously took hold of the brass door handle, and turned it, pushing it slowly open with a creak of old hinges.

From inside, they could hear the faint murmur of voices and the sound of flute, harp, and lute playing, as well as the clink of glasses and plates.

Cautiously, the three turtle slipped in to what appeared to be shady looking tavern located deep in the sewers.

The door shut behind them with a slight click, and with that small sound, the music came to a halt with an audible screech, and all noise stopped as every patron stopped to look up at the newcomers in dead silence. Leo was certain that he could hear a fly buzzing somewhere amid the suddenly tense atmosphere, and there was a lone cough somewhere in the back table.

Huh. He should have expected something like this.

There were Footbots gathered around a table, interrupted in the middle of playing cards, there was a group of triceratons huddled up at the bar having drinks, while a small band comprised of Kraang-droids stood up on a platform in the corner, each with a instrument in hand.

"Okay, NOPE!" Raph's hands went down to his sais. "Nu-uh! This ain't happening!"

Leo grabbed his hand, stopping him before he could draw steel. "No, Raph. Remember who we're dealing with. This place is under his control."

"Dudes!" Mikey bounded past them to the bar, jumping onto one of the round barstools and spinning around before looking up at the bartender in delight. "It's Rocksteady!"

The large rhino was cleaning out a glass with a rag. "I don't know what you be talking about, little turtle. I y'am just bartender, doing the bartending, dah?"

"And Bebop!" Mikey whirled about to gleefully point out. "I think he's the barmaid!"

The purple mohawked warthog was wearing a purple corset top, and matching leather pants, balancing a tray with several empty mugs on it. "Yo, dawg, can I get you a drink?"

Mikey's eyes lit up, and he held up a finger. "Actually, I..."

"No." Leo answered for him firmly. "We're all fine. Thank you."

Considering what this place was, Leo wasn't sure they could even trust the water.

"Suit yourselves." Bebop shrugged, rearranging the mugs. "Give me a holler if you need me, and I'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail! Bang!" He gave a side thrust of his hips, a quick twirl in place, then went to clean off a table.

The patrons, obviously satisfied that the turtles weren't going to cause trouble, went back to nursing their cups and resuming their games, the murmur of low conversations once again filling the air. In the corner, the Kraang-droids began enthusiastically and yet somehow still stiffly playing their instruments once more.

Mikey noticed a table of Footbots gathered together and playing cards. "Ooh! Leo! Can I go play?! Please?!"

Leo was looking around the room, searching for the one particular person they were looking for. "Sure. Have fun." he said absently, waving his brother to continue.

"Awesome!" Mikey launched himself over to an open chair at the table. He leaned forward and ran a hand over his head, slicking his bandana tails back suavely. "Deal me."

The Footbot who was dealing the cards gave a warbled beeping noise, his eyes flashed red, and then cards began piling up in front of their orange brother.

"Okay, well, we just lost Mikey." Raph observed with a frown.

Leo finally noticed what he was looking for. In the darkened corner of the tavern was a single lone table. Leaning back against the wall, a mug of bubbling green liquid in front of him, sat a short, stout heavily cloaked figure.

Leo nodded, then caught Raph's attention, tilting his head towards the mysterious figure. "Over there."

Raph studied the figure, then took a deep, shaky breath, obviously ill at ease. He cracked his neck and shook the jitters out of his hands. "Right. Well, let's get this done with."

Together, they wove between the patrons and tables of the packed and lively tavern, until finally they were standing before the cloaked figure. With a nod at his brother, Leo drew out a chair and seated himself at the table while Raph moved to stand between Leo and the rest of the patrons in the tavern, his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed and scanning the room suspiciously for trouble, obviously trusting Leo to handle the negotiations while he stood guard.

"If it isn't the great Leonardo himself, the head of the Hamato clan." The hooded figure traced the rim of his glass absently. "You foundeth me... I'm impressed that you managed to solve my riddle."

"It's what my brothers and I do." Leo casually leaned on the table. "We get results done."

The hooded figure reached down and pulled out another mug of the sputtering green liquid, sliding it over to Leo. "Mighteth I interest you in a drinketh?"

Leo caught the wooden tankard in his hand before it slid off of the table, not taking his eyes off of the figure across from him. Right. Ugh. The things he would do for his family's sake...

Without blinking, he lifted the mug up and took a long drink, keeping his blue eyes trained on the hooded figure, who merely smiled under his cloak and nodded.

"Uh... Leo?" Raph eyed the tankard dubiously, obviously not sure whether his brother should be drinking something that shade of neon green and bubbling.

"It's Mountain Dew." Leo reassured him without taking his eyes off of the figure.

"Of course it is." Raph muttered under his breath as he rolled his eyes, turning to resume his glare against everything in existence.

Leo lowered the mug and set it down on the table as he narrowed his blue eyes at the cloaked figure. "You know what we want."

"And, as I said, I can giveth thee what thine heart desires." The hooded figure picked up his own mug and took a drink. "Though, as I told thine brother, I would haveth demands that I would see met."

"Naturally." Leo tilted his head in acknowledgment.

"Very well..." The hooded figure set his mug down and reached into his cloak sleeve and drew out a few sheets of parchment, setting them on the table and sliding them over to Leo. "Hereth are my terms."

Leo picked up the papers, tapped them a few times on the table to straighten them out, then carefully started reading through them. "As agreed, we will start fulfilling our end of the bargain in a month's time, at which point, we'll be be at your service once a fortnight for a year, as circumstances allow. I, of course, will not promise my brother Donatello's services without his knowledge or permission, but you will have the three of us at least, and he most likely will join us as well." Then he paused as he noticed something in the contract. "Wait, what's this?" he frowned, glancing over the papers at the figure. "An assassination of a high level politician? That wasn't mentioned before."

"Feareth not, it will not require thou to act against thine honor." the hooded figure replied, leaning forward to tap brown feathered fingers together. "My sources telleth me that he is corrupted, and thus must be eliminated for the good of all." 

"Hm..." Leo's eyes narrowed and studied the hooded figure suspiciously, then he paused, before sighing and holding up a finger. "Hold on a second." He then turned and snapped out, "Mikey! Do NOT gamble away your nunchucks!"

"Aw, but Leo, I totally have this hand in the bag!" Mikey protested, sitting at the table with the Footbots with a handful of cards. "There's no way I can lose!"

"Mikey, no." Leo narrowed his eyes at his younger brother. "As a ninja, your weapons are your soul. They are not collateral for a card game in a tavern."

"Fine." Mikey rolled his eyes, then turned back to the Footbots, hunching down behind his cards. "Well, I guess we gotta let the cards fall where they may, boys... So... tell me... Do you have any sixes?"

The Footbot he was talking to made some warbled noises, its eyes flashing with red lights.

Mikey's eyes widened, and he threw his cards up in the air. "Impossible!" He pointed accusingly as cards fluttered down all around them. "I call shenanigans! Yeah, that's right! I think you're cheating, mister!"

The Footbots all emotionlessly beeped at him, eyes flashing red.

"Oh! Oh!" Mikey sputtered. "Do you kiss your mothers with those mouths?!"

Raph sighed and facepalmed. He reached back and patted his blue brother's shell. "I got this Leo." He started walking forward, cracking his knuckles.

"Thanks Raph." Leo gratefully nodded at him, then turned back towards the hooded stranger and cleared his throat. "Anyways, back to our deal. We will at the very least investigate this situation. If this politician does indeed deserve death, then it will be done, by my own hand if need be. But we will not be used as mere puppets for political intrigue." He leaned back and crossed his arms over his plastron. "That is the most I will offer regarding this."

From under the hood, Leo could swear he could see a sly smile start to form. "That's all I could asketh for."

Leo nodded, and went back to reading over the papers. "Let's see here... Retrieval of an ancient artifact... eliminating a necromancer... stopping an underground thievery ring... Most of these remaining requests seem reasonable."

"So we are in agreement then?" the hooded figure could barely keep the delighted chortle out of his voice.

Leo lay the papers down and nodded. "Very well. On behalf of the Hamato Clan, I agree to your terms. In exchange, you will provide your particular services for our brother, Donatello, and our clan sister, April, for their wedding ceremony."

"It's a contract, then." A brown feathered hand slipped out from a wide sleeve, and Leo reached over to shake it.

They were interrupted by Raph crashing shellfirst onto the table, splintering it beneath his massive bulk.

He groaned and pushed himself up, then glanced at Leo. "Guess what? Turns out that the Footbots really WERE cheating!"

Leo sighed, ran his hand over his face, then glanced up at their host apologetically.

"Oh, by all means, proceed if thou so wisheth." the cloaked figure leaned back in his chair, and with a snap of his feather fingers, the smashed table began to reform. "What is a tavern encounter, after all, without a hearty brawl? Bards?" He snapped his feathered fingers, and the Kraang Droids switched songs and began playing a spirited and jaunty tune, the perfect background music for a barroom brawl. "Wanton violence for all!"

"Oh, sweet!" Raph pushed himself up and cracked his neck and knuckles. "I might like this after all!" He grabbed a Footbot and slammed its face into a table, then turned and tripped a triceraton as it ran by, sending it sprawling forward to bowl into several of its comrades.

Leo sighed, and quickly grabbed a wooden mug that was sailing through the air at his brother's back, twisting and using the momentum to send it sailing back to hit the Footbot that had thrown it. He placed his shell back against Raph's. "This is so unnecessary."

Mikey was clinging to the head of a startled triceraton, gnawing at one of his horns gleefully. "Booyakasha!"

Their host sat back in his chair, resting a taloned, bird-like foot and a peg leg on the table while pulling out a bag of what looked like Cheetos, munching on them and watching with obvious amusement. "Just watcheth out for the area behind the bar area." he warned. "The ground there be most treacherous."

* * *

"Uh, where were you guys?" Donnie blinked as the three of them pushed through the turnstile into the lair. "You were gone for hours."

"Wedding planning." Mikey said happily but wearily.

"Shower. I'm going to shower. Now." Raph snarled, stomping off, covered in some unspeakable substance.

"Uh..." Donnie blinked.

"Oh, ignore him." Leo rolled his eyes. "Raph was warned specifically not to go in a specific area, and he went there anyways, and it turns out there was a pit of sewer water back there."

"WHY was there SEWAGE in a BAR?!" Raph ranted as he stomped away.

"Because the bar was in the sewers, maybe?!" Leo put his hands on his hips, yelling right back at Raph. "You were warned! Maybe you'll listen next time!"

Donnie's eyes widened, and he slowly turned to Mikey. "Wedding planning, you say?" he asked, his voice crackling in a tone that was almost pleading for a hint of sanity to come out of this.

"It... was... AWESOME." Mikey said dreamily.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, if you've watched the 2k12 series at all, you might have figured out who their mysterious contact is, and what Leo's plan might be. My first draft had him sounding much more mysterious and dubious, trying to hide who he was a little longer, but then I went back to watch that episode again to refresh my memory, and realized quickly that if I was going to try to stay in character, that wasn't going to happen. He's not exactly a subtle character to write.
> 
> That being said, shorter chapter then normal, the next one will be extra long and will be half a re-write of what the old Chapter 7 used to be, and half new content.


	8. The Bachelor Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some previous readers might recognize some of this chapter. I had it posted before, but really didn't like it, as originally I had Mikey stay behind, and I didn't like splitting up the brothers. It's re-written now, quite a bit has changed, and to make up for the duplicate story, I added what was supposed to be part two to the end, so that's all new.
> 
> Now I can finally get this story moving again!

* * *

 

 

_~Three Days before the wedding_

Leo leaned back and resting his elbows on the old wooden counter behind him, dressed up in a white pinstripe shirt with the sleeves neatly rolled up, a black felt vest, and a small red tie. He rolled the toothpick he held between his teeth around thoughtfully. "Just how exactly did I get talked into this again?" he wondered casually aloud.

The derpy pigeon standing by the door gave him a beaming grin, waving a feathered hand . "Hi! I'm Pete!"

"Yes. Yes you are." Leo examined the toothpick for a moment, then stuck it back in his mouth and settled back against the counter.

"I've been wondering the same thing myself, Leonardo." Dr Rockwell sounded bored. The psychic chimpanzee was stationed behind the long wooden counter that served as a bar, where cans and bottles of every alcoholic beverage that Casey and Raph had been able to get their hands on lined the shelves on the wall. He was currently disinterestedly using his telekinesis abilities to stack the mismatched supply of small clear shot glasses that they had collected. "Such low brow entertainment is beneath me, and yet, here I am somehow. Astounding."

He, Dr Rockwell, and Pigeon Pete were stationed in a long-abandoned restaurant located in the upper floors of an empty building, all dressed up in matching makeshift uniforms of the black vest, pinstripe shirt, and red tie. The dilapidated old floor had been cleaned of trash and debris, colorful lights had been set up, decorations had been hung around, and even an old jukebox had been coaxed into working condition and sat in the corner, playing whatever songs Casey had been able to get in there. At his post by the door, Pigeon Pete was rocking on his feet and humming a completely different tune then was currently playing.

A door opening and shutting and the clamor down on the floor below let Leonardo know that the guest of honor had finally arrived. He straightened up and dusted himself off. "Alright, men. It's showtime."

"Oh joy!" Pigeon Pete flapped his feathered hands happily, and then lunged forward to throw open the door, leaning out to look at the empty hallway. "Hi! I'm Pigeon Pete!"

From the bottom of the steps, Slash called up, "Yes, we know, Pete!"

A few seconds later, the hulking blue turtle clambored up the stairs and ducked through the doorway, followed closely by Mondo Gecko, Leatherhead, and finally Casey, Raphael and Mikey, who were both leading a blindfolded Donnie. The purple genius was wearing a tshirt that was obviously never meant to be worn by a creature with a shell that had the words 'Buy this guy a shot, he's tying the knot!' emblazoned across the front, and a ballcap that said 'Party Stag' with two felt antlers attached to each side.

"Alright, Donnie!" Casey said gleefully, taking off the white bandana. "Surprise!"

Donnie blinked his reddish brown eyes a few times, adjusting once more to having sight, then looked around, eyeridge raised. "Oh. Wow. Um, thanks guys... but like I said, this really isn't necessary."

Raph scoffed, punching his shoulder. "C'mon man, did you really think that we'd let you get by without a wicked stag party?! You're getting married, dude! Time to go wild!"

"This is going to be aMAZING!" Mikey squealed, bounding in. "I've been looking forward to this for weeks!"

"We've got everything set up to par- _tay_ tonight!" Casey said enthusiastically. He began listing things off on his fingers. "Booze, friends, alcohol, gambling, beer, dancing, whiskey, oh, and look, we even got chicks to hang out with us!" He eagerly led Donnie over to the wall, where lifesized cardboard cutouts of pinup models lined the wall in seductive and flirting poses. Casey dragged Casey over to one in particular. "Donnie, here's Katie. Katie, meet the man of the hour!" He picked up the cardboard cutout and handed it to the purple ninja. "She's that hot host chick from that science show you like so much, right?!"

"This... is awkward." Donnie observed, hesitantly taking the cardboard actress standup and examining it with a slight awkward blush coloring his cheeks. He looked as if he was inwardly examining all of his escape options.

"Well, hello there gorgeous." Casey spoke in a smooth voice as he leaned next to a cardboard blonde in a red bikini. "What's your sign?"

Donnie, holding his own cardboard girl at arm's length, glanced over at Leo pleadingly for rescue, who merely shrugged as he chewed on his toothpick. "Hey, don't look at me. I'm just one of the staff."

"And just what exactly did they bribe you with, Leo?" Donnie's voice held a hint of betrayed accusation.

Leo considered it for a moment, then admitted guiltily, "Casey promised to clean up his bedroom." He then shrugged. "Plus, I figured that I could be the sober chaperone." He glanced at the other two 'employees' of this makeshift nightclub. "I'm not sure how these two got roped into it, though."

Dr Rockwell looked at Leo in surprise. "Why Leonardo, wasn't the payment details discussed with you?"

Leo stopped chewing on his toothpick, then slowly turned to glance at Raph and Casey, who were looking suspiciously guilty. "The what now?" he asked cautiously.

Raph coughed. "We kinda promised him that you would show him a few of your meditation techniques."

Leo was still and silent for a moment, then he went back to chewing on his toothpick, narrowing his sapphire blue eyes into an icy stare at his brothers as he did so. He didn't mind sharing knowledge, of course, but teaching the arrogant and condescending Dr. Rockwell was always... interesting.

"As for Pete," Slash stepped in, trying to save Raph and Casey from being vaporized by imaginary death glares, "Once he found out that we were putting this together, he kinda got his heart set on joining in as well." He glanced over to the derpy pigeon. "We didn't really know what to do with him, so we ended up making him the busboy."

"Hi! I'm Pete!" The pigeon finally noticed that somebody was paying attention to him, and waved enthusiastically in response.

"Enough of this!" Casey tucked his 'date' under one arm and grabbed Donnie with the other. "Everybody grab a date, and let's get this train wreck under way!"

"Train wreck is probably an apt description." Donnie squeaked as he was dragged over to the bar.

Slash picked up two cardboard girls at random and handed one to Leatherhead. "I'm going to have to drink a lot to make this seem less disturbing." he muttered to the large alligator as they headed over to the bar as well.

"Please tell me he was able to..." Mondo Gecko examined the printed out models as he slowly skateboarded along the row of choices, then perked up as he saw the one he was looking for. "Yes!" He grabbed the piece of cardboard with an anime punk girl wearing spiked black clothing. "Dude! You managed to get Sk8tergrl Lolli! Wicked!"

"Hey, you ask, dude, Casey Jones delivers!" Casey called out over his shoulder.

"Let's see here..." Mikey glanced over the cardboard options thoughtfully, then his eyes widened, and he gave a squeal. "Oh m'gosh! I'm totally in love!" He rushed over to a cardboard pink flamingo with long movable stick legs that was meant to be a wall decoration paired with some palm trees. He licked his hand and slicked back his bandana tails, before reaching up to unpin the flamingo and swoop her into a dip. "Hello, Florintina, we meet again. Your feathers are stunning tonight, my dear!"

"Bartender!" Casey called out, seating himself on one of the stools. Dr Rockwell gave a long suffering sigh at that. "A drink for the groom-to-be here!"

"Of course. Any preferences, sir?" The psychic monkey turned to Donatello with the air of resignation and ever patient toleration.

"Um... Martini, I guess? Shaken, not stirred?" Donnie half joked, setting the cardboard Katie on the floor next to him.

Rockwell narrowed his gaze at Donnie for a moment, then nodded and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He exhaled slowly, then, with a sudden snap of his hands that startled Donnie, his eyes flew open and bulged out in intense concentration and bottles began flying off the shelves and orbiting the chimpanzee. Gin and dry vermouth poured into a metal shaker, and, as if held by an invisible hand, expertly shook and mixed the ingredients in twists and swoops, before pouring the contents into a floating martini glass. The glass landed gently in front of Donnie as two olives flew up in the air, were skewered by a toothpick from the same box that Leo had gotten his from, and then settled gently into the drink with barely even a ripple.

Applause filled the room at the show

"Ooh, bravo, my good man!" Mondo Gecko called out, obviously impressed.

Rockwell tipped his head slightly, as if all the praise and adoration were only natural.

"I'll take a Bud." Casey decided to order his own drink.

A can of beer flew off the shelf and smacked Casey between the eyes non-too-gently.

"Ow!" Casey complained, rubbing his face before picking up the can. "Somebody isn't getting a tip!"

"You're not even paying him to begin with, Casey." Leo grumbled. "Apparently I am. Oh! And do you guys see that bowl of pretzels sitting in front of you?" Leo leaned over his table to point the indicated item out. "I put that bowl of pretzels on the bar for a reason. Eat them. I don't want anybody drinking on an empty stomach. And there's bottles of water there. Hydrate!"

"Yes, Leo." Everybody recited in unison without turning to look at him.

"Pretzels?!" Pigeon Pete perked up.

"No, Pete." Leo sighed as he turned to remind him. "I gave you a baggie of Cheerios earlier to get you to leave them alone, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Pete blinked, then began to pat down his vest. "Where did I put them again?"

"You... ate them." Leo blinked.

"Oh." Pete looked disappointed, then perked up hopefully. "Can I have some pretzels?

Leo sighed and reached under his counter. He thought this might happen. Grabbing another small baggie full of cereal, he tossed it to the pigeon man. "Here."

"Yay!" Pete tore into the bag with impressive savagery.

Leo leaned back against his counter. He had only brought six bags, he hoped they lasted him through the night.

Mikey, having just placed a pink-colored cocktail with an umbrella in front of Florintina, turned towards Slash, rubbing an arm awkwardly. "Say... I'm glad to see Pete's here. Is everything cool with him now? You know that I still feel really bad about what happened..." he trailed off guiltily.

Slash put a huge scaled hand on Mikey's shell. "Mikey, you shouldn't blame yourself. You couldn't have known that Pete would have such a reaction to... well... you know."

They all shuddered and had flashbacks to the dark basement where an almost feral pigeon hid in a pile of empty pizza boxes. It finally took the combined force of the Hamato Clan and all the Mighty Mutanimals to set up an intervention on his behalf.

Raph glanced at the pigeon devouring the Cheerios. "He looks good, by the way. Glad he pulled out of that."

Slash nodded. "Yeah. He's been keeping himself clean. He hasn't touched a..." he paused, then leaned down and spelled out in a whisper, "P- I- Z- Z- A C- R- U- S- T" He straightened back up and resumed a normal speaking voice, '...in almost two months now."

"Good to hear." Raph nodded.

"So, what are the chicks doing tonight while the dudes are out prowling?" Mondo asked curiously.

Raph took a drink and shrugged. "Dunno what their plans were. I'm sure they're having a good time, though."

* * *

 

_*Back at the lair*_

April looked across the table at where Karai, Shinigami, Mona Lisa and Renet sat, and smiled awkwardly. Music was playing off of the radio in the background, but otherwise the lair was quiet.

The ladies eyeballed each other uncertainly, and April inwardly wanted to strangle Casey and Mikey for setting this up, as good as their intentions had been. They just invited all the female allies they knew for her bachelorette party, and that was just these four. And while Renet seemed sweet enough, April had just met the Time Mistress! Apparently April needed more gal pals.

"So..." she coughed, and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Yup. Here we are." Karai nodded, resting her arms on the table, which was covered in various snacks and drinks, all of the non-alcoholic kind, of course.

There was another moment of quiet, and in the background, the music stopped as the radio switched to commercial break.

"Yes! So! This bachelorette party!" Renet nodded, reaching over to eat some Skittles out of bowl. "I am so ready to party all night!"

"Wild and crazy hijinks will abound tonight, I'm sure." Shini agreed.

Mona Lisa turned to April, tilting her head curiously. "So... um... forgive my ignorance, but... what exactly do we do at this Bachelorette Party'? I'm still new to many of these this Earth customs."

"Uh..." April stuttered as her mind raced. "We... uh..." Then she sighed and let her head fall into her hand. "Okay. Confession time. I honestly have NO idea what you're supposed to do at a bachelorette party. Besides drink, obviously, which..." She gestured towards her still barely noticeable stomach meaningfully.

"Hm." Karai frowned, then looked around uncertainly. "Well, are we... are we supposed to go to Chippendale's or something? I think that's what you're supposed to do?"

"Like... the Rescue Rangers?" Mona Lisa looked confused. "I have observed Michelangelo watching that animated feature about the antics of two small rodents. Are... are we to find them to assist them on one of their mysteries somehow? I was under the impression that they were fictional."

"Eh-heh... no.." April coughed. "She's talking about going to a stripper club, not cartoon chipmunks."

"Wait?! We're going to a stripper club?!" Renet's voice audibly squeaked.

"No, no we are not." April said firmly.

"Oh, thank glorb." Renet exhaled in relief. "If Lord Simultaneous caught me doing something like that, I'd be cleaning the library for a month."

"Hm... Thus bars and stripper clubs are out." Shini frowned. "So... what else do you do at a bachelorette party?"

There was another moment of silence as they pondered this.

"You know what? We'll do whatever we want!" April decided, smacking both of her palms on the table firmly. "We aren't defined by societies rules! We'll party how we want to party! You with me, girls?"

"Yes! This is going to be the best Bachelorette party ever!" Renet cheered enthusiastically.

"Of course will be!" Shini said optimistically in her lilting accent.

"Yes, we will successfully accomplish all we set out to do at this 'Bachelorette Party'." Mona Lisa added. "We will have many tales of adventures to regale the boys with when they return!"

"That's the spirit!" April raised a can of grape soda in salute. "The boys will have nothing on us!"

The girls all raised their cans of soda in unison in a cheer, and then tipped the cans back to drink as one.

Mona drained her Mountain Dew in a few chugs, then belched loudly and smashed the can against her forehead, the metal crumpling like tissue paper.

The other girls lowered their drinks and stared at her.

She noticed this and paused, now a little uncertain. "Wait, is that not the customary response after emptying your beverage on Earth?"

"She mostly hangs out with Raph and Casey." April explained.

"Oh..." the others immediately understood.

"Nice technique, Mona." Karai gave her a thumbs up, tipped up her own Ginger Ale to finish it off, before giving a small burp of her own and smashing her can on her forehead as well.

"Ooh! Let me try!" Renet bubbled excitedly, chugged her drink, belched, then tried and failed to smash the can on her face. "Ow! Oh glorb, that's harder then it looks!" She rubbed the red ring mark growing on her forehead ruefully.

They spent the next few minutes discussing various can smashing techniques, and then they eventually fell silent again, occasionally snacking amongst the awkward silence.

April looked around the table and shrugged. "Mario Cart?"

"Dibs on Bowser." Karai immediately called out.

* * *

 

_*Back at the Kame Bar*_

"Dude..." Mikey lay on his shell on a bench near Leo's station, holding one of his hands up in front of his face. "Hey... hey bro! Leo! Leo. Bro... Hey, Leeeeoooooo..." He groped around thickly with his non-studied hand, trying to catch Leo's attention but missing him each time.

"I'm right here, Mikey." Leo informed him.

"Leo... Dude... Have you ever wondered why we only have three fingers?" Mikey breathed in awe as he stared at his hand. He wiggled his fingers and watched in fascination.

Leo narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Mikey... how much have you had to drink tonight?"

Mikey broke out giggle madly, as if he had just told a funny joke. "Leo! I only have three fingers to count on!" He held up his hand and wiggled his fingers to show him. "So I don't know, bro!"

Leo looked up at Dr Rockwell with an eyeridge raised, who shrugged, baffled. "Don't look at me. I've only served him non-alcoholic beverages. It... seemed irresponsible to do otherwise."

Leo leaned down and gave a quick sniff. Nope, Mikey did not smell like he had been drinking. He just smelled like stale pizza, sewer, and sugar mostly. Typical Mikey smell. His sapphire blue eyes narrowed and darted over to where Mondo was laughing and trying to balance a red plastic cup on his nose. Would the usually baked mutant have brought some...? No, no, he knew better, and Leo would've definitely smelled that.

Leo frowned and considered his youngest brother. Alright, apparently it was now time to play the game of trying to figure out if Mikey was just messing with him, or if he truly managed to get drunk and/or high somehow. Mikey could just be getting a kick out of baffling his oldest brother with his abstruse behavior. On the other hand, it was quite possible that Mikey actually was legitimately drunk, just because he had convinced himself that he should be. Mikey's imagination was powerful enough.

Mikey's bleary baby-blue eyes moved to meet his own scrutinizing gaze, and the orange turtle wrinkled his snout and giggled at Leo. "Bro..." he breathed, and then bolted up and twisted around to grab Leo's hand, examining it closely. "Ha! You have three fingers too! We're twins, dude!" He held up Leo's battle scarred hand and pressed his own against it, obviously thrilled at how closely they matched.

Leo sighed. His little brother was so confusing sometimes.

He pulled his hand away and straightened up as the main group of the party made their way towards his table.

"Great. So now what?" Donnie eyed the setup hesitantly as Casey led him to a high backed chair that was decorated like a garish party throne, with balloons and streamers and a big sign reading 'The Throne of Games'.

"Gentlemen." Leo greeted them casually, playing his role as expected. He gestured towards the set up in front of him, three folding tables covered in boxes and marks made with red, black, and green markers, and, off to the side, an upside down trashcan lid converted into a roulette wheel. "Take a seat at my table, and we can begin the games."

"Wait, so Leo's the dealer? Really?" Mondo blinked at the others, then turned back to Leo. "No offense, dude, but... like... do you even know how to gamble?"

"We asked Leo for a reason." Raph said with a knowing smirk. "Not only is he a rule freak that'll make sure that games remain honest and friendly, he can do things like this..." He gestured to Leo, who nodded.

Leo picked up a deck of cards and held it up in one hand for them to see. Then, with a few twists of just that one hand, the deck was broken up into three equal sized smaller decks, which he rolled nimbly about his fingers, before finally snapping his wrist and splaying them out in three different neat fans of cards angled in different directions, before just as quickly snapping them up and manipulating them all back into a single neat deck. All that just using his one hand.

"Whoa..." Mondo looked hypnotized by the movement of the cards. "Dude."

"I still don't see how you do that." Casey grumbled, obviously jealous. "And you only have three fingers!"

"I know, right!" Mikey exclaimed from his bench, holding up his hand. "Mind blowing, isn't it?"

"Card manipulation is a good way to practice hand dexterity." Leo said simply, riffling the deck of cards between the palms of his hands before starting up a complicated and visually impressive shuffle that broke the deck up into several small pieces that spun, twisted, and flipped around one another almost casually. "I offer Blackjack, Baccarat, Pai Gow Poker, Craps, and Roulette."

Donnie scoffed as he took his chair of honor. "Poker? Against you, Leo? I'm not THAT drunk yet." He set Katie up next to him, and leaned against the table. "We'll start out with blackjack."

"Of course." Leo smirked, and deftly began to deal out the cards.

* * *

 

The night wore on, and Leo sat back in a chair, munching on a pretzel and watching his brothers and the Mighty Mutanimals laugh, drink, and dance to the music with their cardboard ladies. He felt he had played his part well. Everybody seemed to have fun with the games, even if Leatherhead, surprisingly, took the majority of the pot, and now had moved on to dancing and even more drinking.

All things considered, the night's event seemed to be a success. Everybody seemed to be in good spirits, if more then a little liquored up. Of the other two 'employees', only Leo had stayed on the wagon. Pete was curled up under the roulette table, sleeping as he clung an empty pretzel bowl to his chest possessively. And Rockwell had fallen, hard. He was just as drunk as everybody else. Somehow he had found a fringed lampshade, which he wore on his head, and was currently in a contest with Donnie on who could pull off the best 'Robot' dance.

The smile faded off of Leo's face, though, and he straightened up, suddenly serious.

Danger.

His instincts were screaming danger!

Launching over the bar, he landed by the jukebox and quickly pulled the plug, killing the music.

The cries of protest were quickly cut short when the others noticed the serious look on his face, all knowing just what that meant. He carefully slid over to a window and pulled the heavy cover back a bit to peek out. Though he kept his face calm, he swore inwardly at what he saw.

There were black military vehicles and men in black combat suits milling about them.

"It's the EPF." he muttered low to the others.

"Fuck." Raph swore.

In Leo's mind, it was highly ironic that the Earth Protection Force seemed to think that mutants were one of the biggest threats to the earth, when, in fact, he and his allies had risked so much to save humanity on several occasions.

"What are they doing here?" Slash growled.

"Don't know, but we all need to leave. Now." Leo frowned. He moved to sneak a look out of the other windows, trying to get a handle on the situation as his mind put together a plan. "They seem to just be at the front and rear at the moment."

He turned to study the others. Everybody had been drinking, some more then others, but Slash and Leatherhead seemed to still be functional, probably thanks to their large sizes. Even so, they were definitely not going to be fighting at the top of their game. "We need to avoid a confrontation." he stated the obvious as he moved towards the center of the room to join the others. "Slash, take the Mighty Mutanimals down into the basement. There's a service tunnel down there that leads down to the waterfront that the EPF should be unaware of. The Hamato Clan will stealth off the roof, get a little ways away, and cause a SUBTLE," he glared at Casey and Raph, "distraction to get their attention away from the river and give you further cover."

"That's a mission that will require stealth." Slash gave a faint, indiscreet head tilt towards Casey, obviously wondering if Leo wanted him to take the loud human with in the non-sneaky group.

Leo considered this. Not for Casey, actually. He had spent enough time secretly watching Raph and Casey's backs on their nights out that he had full confidence in the two of them. They knew how to move quickly and quietly even when drunk when the situation required it. Donnie, on the other hand, was more of an unknown factor. The purple genius rarely drank, and he was very obviously VERY drunk at the moment. Leo wasn't quite sure how much his ninja skills were affected by this. However, he was standing there as quietly and seriously as the others at the moment, one hand on his bo staff and the other protectively on cardboard Katie.

"We should be fine." Leo finally decided.

Slash nodded, trusting Leo's judgement. He hoisted the unconscious Pigeon Pete over one shoulder, and instructed Leatherhead to carry Mondo Gecko, who wasn't walking the straightest. "Very well. Donnie, congrats man, and thanks for the party. Sorry that we have to leave so abruptly."

"Pshaw. Don't be sorry." Donnie scoffed, waving his hand drunkenly. "This was fun, and besides, can't be a ninja turtle without having some trouble show up, y'know."

"Right." Leo stepped in front of his brothers, serious. "We should be able to reach the roof through the floor above us. Keep in the shadows, and keep low, and we should be able to get at least a few buildings away with little problem, where I will deal with creating a distraction, understand? No playing around or showboating tonight, we don't need to create any unnecessary risks. Raph and I will help Casey in the trickier parts. We need to move quiet and fast."

"Question?" Donnie raised his hand slightly.

Leo glanced at him. "Yes Donnie?"

"Can I bring Katie along?" Donnie held up the cardboard cutout of the attractive scientist.

Leo sighed and put a finger to the bridge of his snout and closed his eyes. "You know what? Fine. As long as you don't let it get in your way."

"Yay!" Donnie gleefully but quietly celebrated, tucking the cardboard cutout under one arm.

"Alright, let's move." Leo ordered, and Raph, Mikey, Casey, and Donnie (with Katie) followed him.

* * *

 

As Leo predicted, they had little trouble making their way up to the roof. Gesturing for the others to stay put for a moment, he skirted through the shadows to a better vantage point, trying to better understand the position of the military personnel below on the streets.

Fortunately, this didn't seem to be a full out assault force. By how few units there were, and only a couple of armored vehicles, Leo guessed that this was only a scouting unit, sent out to inspect a possible lead but not really expecting to find anything.

"Whoa..." Donnie breathed next to him, and Leo jumped in surprise. Holy...! When did DONNIE get so stealthy that he could sneak up on him?! Was he some sort of drunk savant that way? "That's a Type IV Hercule Titan!"

"Donnie!" Leo hissed, and, looking around, quickly and stealthily herded him back. "I told you to stay back here!"

"Guys! Guys!" Donnie wasn't listening to him at all. "Get this! They have an actual Type IV Hercule Titan vehicle down there! I've hacked the schematics for them, but I didn't think I'd ever actually see one in person!" He was geeking out happily and drunkly. "Man, would I ever love to get a look at one of those babies up close!"

"Hm?" Raph peered down over the edge of roof. "You mean that big armored van over there by itself?"

"Raph! Really! Calling a mere 'van' seems so barbaric." Donnie sniffed. "It's basically a high tech miniature tank. That's what I dream of turning the Shellraiser into one day." He then melted into a giggling shiver. "It's my dream baby!"

"Guys!" Leo hissed at them. "Ninjas! Escaping! Remember?!"

"Yeah, yeah Leo." Raph waved him off absently, studying the armored vehicle. He stood up. "You lead the way. We'll take care of Donnie. Won't we Casey?"

"We will?" Casey blinked at him, confused by this.

"Hey, I don't need taking care of!" Donnie protested, offended and swaying. "Besides, I think you guys had more to drink then... then I did!"

"Trust me bro." Raph threw a friendly but drunk arm around the purple genius's shell. He poked him in the arm and gave him a wink. "Tonight is your night. It's my job and duty as your brother to make sure it's the best night ever!"

"Oh! Yeah!" Casey seemed to get something from Raph's look, and grinned, throwing his arm around Donnie's shell from the other side. "We got your shell, man!"

Mikey threw his arms around all three of them. "Bro hug time!"

Leo narrowed his eyes suspiciously at them, but at Raph's innocent look and gesture for him to continue, he nodded. "This way."

He led them over a narrow gap between buildings, then through the shadows across the skyline, trying to choose much safer and cautious paths for his intoxicated brothers then they normally bothered with.

It wasn't until the third rooftop away that he suddenly realized that he was alone, and his footsteps faltered as he looked around for his missing brothers. Where had they...?

Sudden shouting and yelling from the EPF humans behind him and the roar of an engine and squeal of tires made his heart drop in his chest.

They wouldn't...

He rushed to the side of the roof and leaned over the edge, looking around wildly. He quicky spotted the armored van racing down the alleyway, smoke from the squealing tires pouring out from behind it.

Oh, those little _shits_! They were in so much trouble! He was going to make them scrub down the whole lair with toothbrushes! He was going to make them do backflips until they couldn't tell up from down! He was going to lecture them until his lungs gave out and, newsflash, he was a turtle! That would take a hell of a long time!

The side door was still open, and Mikey was leaning out of it, gesturing up to him as they approached. "Come on, Leo! Hurry up and get in!"

Leo launched himself off the roof, grabbing a window ledge and kicking off the brick wall at the exact moment the van raced by, and rolling through the sliding door that Mikey held open into the moving vehicle. He straightened up immediately and immediately noticed Raph behind the wheel.

Oh hell no! Stealing a military vehicle was one thing, but there was going to be absolutely NO drunk driving in this clan while Leo lived and breathed!

He lunged forward to quickly grab the wheel and then, jumping up and over to wedge himself between Raph and the door, he then hip-bumped the red brother out of the driver's seat and settled himself in, quickly strapping the seatbelt before stepping on the gas pedal and flooring it.

Just in time too, as the remaining three EPF vehicles skidded around the corner and roared into action, in close pursuit.

"What the hell are you guys thinking?!" Leo snarled, twisting the steering wheel hard and making a curve on two wheels, before righting the vehicle.

"Donnie wanted it." Raph laughed eagerly as he picked himself up off the vehicle floor, obviously enjoying the adrenaline rush. "And what my brothers want, I make sure they get!"

Donnie, buckled into the passenger seat next to Leo, gave a squeal of joy and excitement, drumming the dashboard in drunken anticipation. "I have the best brothers ever!" He began to explore all the screens, buttons, and switches in front of him. "Look at the technology here! Can we keep it?!" He looked to Leo eagerly. "Please, Leo?! Please, please, please?!"

"Absolutely not!" Leo snarled, pushing down the gas pedal harder as they reached a stretch of road that seemed clear of traffic. "Everybody shut up, sit down, and buckle in!"

"Spoilsport." Raph stuck his tongue out at him as he, Mikey, and Casey buckled in at the back.

"Don't you even start, Raph!" Leo fumed, glancing in the side mirror. He noticed that the three military vehicles in pursuit were now joined by two flashing police cars. "You guys are in so much trouble when we get out of this!"

"Aw, c'mon, Leo!" Casey complained. "You're supposed to get into a little bit of trouble at a bachelor party! It's in the rules or something! You don't want to break the rules, do you Leo?"

"That is not in the rules, Casey!" Leo snapped, taking a corner so sharp that he nearly hit a newpaper stand. "And this isn't just 'a little bit of trouble!" He noticed a street sign, and realized that he was nearing the spot he had designated in his mind. "Mikey, give me your permanent marker."

"What?" Mikey blinked in confusion.

"Why would he have a permanent marker?" Raph looked over at Mikey doubtfully.

"He was going to use it to draw on Donnie's face if he passed out drunk." Leo growled, holding out a hand without looking back. "Now we don't have much time, so marker, Mikey!"

"Dude. How do you do that?" Mikey's eyes went wide with wonder, but he complied, pulling a large Sharpie out of a pouch and putting it in Leo's hand.

"Thank you." Leo grabbed the marker. "Here's the plan, guys. We're going to go under a rather large underpass here soon. You guys are going to use your grappling hooks to get up on top and out of the vehicle. Raph, you got Casey."

"I got Katie!" Donnie announced, holding up the cardboard cutout.

"Yes. Fine Donnie. Whatever." Leo growled. "Anyways, there's a Laundromat near there with a large washing machine on the roof, get up there, and wait for me by that. Are my directions clear?"

"Wait... just what are you planning to do to the Type IV Hercule Titan, Leo?" Donnie asked almost accusingly.

Leo just clenched his jaw. "Overpass is coming up. Get ready to move, guys!"

The others grumbled, but unbuckled and moved to the doors.

"Please try not to scratch it up too badly." Donnie pleaded, petting the dashboard covered in blinking lights almost tearfully.

Then the nightsky above them disappeared, turning into concrete and round metal lights blinking out a yellowish-orange hue. When the van roared out and reappeared on the other side back under open sky, Leo was alone in the van. Even the cardboard Katie was gone.

Grumbling to himself, Leo grabbed the cap of the Sharpie between his teeth and pulled it off, spitting it off to the side.

* * *

 

"Sir! We are in close pursuit of the mutants at this moment!" a heavily armored human spoke into his communication device in his ear, keeping his eyes on the screen in front of him. He listened for a moment, then nodded, "The vehicle they stole comes with state of the art tracking systems, so there's no way that they'll be able to escape!"

"The tracked vehicle is turning onto West 98th, heading east at an estimated eighty two kilometers per hour." The co-pilot up front observed, making notes on a digitized map screen in front of her.

"Don't lose it!" the armored human, obviously a lower ranked officer, ordered, turning to look up at them.

"Affirmative." the driver pulled at the wheel hard.

"Beta Two and Three, divert and try to get ahead of the mutants by the riverfront bridge." the officer commanded into his headset. "We'll try and cut off any avenues of escape. Headquarters, what's the status regarding backup?"

"Sir!" the co pilot called out. "The stolen Titan is picking up speed!"

"Keep pace!" the officer barked out.

"You don't understand, sir!" the co pilot sounded confused and anxious. "It's accelerating too fast! There's a turn coming up, and if they don't slow down, they're not going to be able to make the..."

There was an earsplitting crash and shriek of twisting, breaking metal and glass that could be heard even inside the armored vehicle they were in.

The driver slammed on his brakes, bringing them to a screeching stop right next to the stolen vehicle now half embedded into a destroyed concrete wall, smoke pouring out of its engine and one of the wheels spinning lifelessly in the air.

"The Titan has crashed! I repeat! The Titan has crashed! All units converge on our location!" The officer screamed into his headpiece, then grabbed a heavy rifle, jumping to his feet. "Come on! We have to make sure those mutants don't escape!"

The other two EPF vehicles screeched up as well, joined shortly by the NYPD patrol cars. Men poured out and began surrounding the crashed vehicle, weapons out and at the ready.

"Attention Mutants!" the officer spoke over the intercom. "You are surrounded! Come out with your hands up and surrender peacefully. We will not hesitate to shoot!"

When nothing came out, he nodded to the advance team, and they began cautiously approaching, guns at the ready.

"Sir!" One of the men called out, peering in the open side door. "It appears to be empty!"

"What?! That can't be!" The officer was baffled, and made his way forward as well.

"Over here sir." Another soldier, examining the driver's side, called him over.

Somebody had taking the large hardcover rules and regulations book out of the glove department and used it to wedge the gas pedal down.

And on the bulletproof windshield, somebody had left a message in large black letters, written in very neat and elegant handwriting.

_'I'm so very, very sorry about this!'_

* * *

 

Leo pulled himself up onto the roof of the Laundromat, and was relieved to see his brothers waiting for him in the designated place. Well, at least they were cognitive enough to follow his orders to this point.

"Leo!" Donnie grabbed his face. "The Type IV Hercule Titan?!"

"...is built like a tank, with bullet proof glass and reinforced steel plating." Leo mumbled through squished cheeks, then pushed his brother's hands away. "I'm sure the concrete barrier took more damage then the vehicle did."

"Concrete... what?!" Donnie looked horrified. "You CRASHED it?! Have you no respect for art, Leo?!"

"Oh, why yes, Donnie, I'm fine. Thanks for asking." Leo growled, then took a deep breath. He was calm. He was Leonardo, and he was in control of himself. He would not lose his temper. His brothers were drunk, and of course they weren't acting completely rationally right now. He needed to be the adult. "But now that that mess has been taken care of, we shouldn't stay in this area for very long. Let's start heading back to the lair."

"What?!" Casey protested. "Dude! The night is still young! We can't throw in the towel just yet!" He grabbed a handful of the colorful brochures they were looking over. "We were just trying to decide where we should go next!"

Leo folded his arms. They didn't seriously think that they were going to keep partying after what just happened, did they? "I think that we're going home. Now." Leo said flatly.

"Aw, come on, Leo." Raph stood up and draped an arm around his shell. "When we said that we wanted to throw an awesome bachelor party for Donnie, you promised that you would let us have fun and wouldn't be a wet blanket, remember?"

"I think the line for non-intervention was crossed when you guys stole an armored vehicle from the EPF!" Leo pushed Raph's arm off. He took a deep breath, steadied his voice again, and tried a calm, rational approach. "Listen guys. You're drunk, we've already just proven that our ability to stealth appropriately is severely compromised, and the EPF is now all riled up and out there looking for us. We really need to get someplace safe right now."

"Leo." Raph leaned down a bit to look Leo dead in the eyes. "Donnie only get one bachelor party. This one day of fun! And then he's going to be shackled down and burdened with so much stress and responsibility that it's going to crush him! We have to let him experience this last gasp of freedom!"

Leo growled, but averted his eyes.

"Leo... Bro..." Donnie swallowed hard, as if crushingly disappointed, and looked up at him with big, pleading eyes. "Please?"

Okay, now that wasn't playing fair! Since when had Donnie started doing the puppy dog eyes?! That was Mikey's thing!

Leo tapped his foot, folded his arms, huffed, snarled, and tapped his foot. Then he groaned and grabbed his head as he stomped around in circles, inwardly arguing with himself. Finally, he glanced once more at Donnie, sighed in defeat, and instead crossed his arms, glaring at his brothers. "You guys are going to listen to me?"

"Of course, Leo!" All three of them looked at him hopefully.

"No more running off, stealing vehicles, or anything like that." he warned. "And if things start getting too dangerous and I say we're leaving, we're going to leave immediately and without incidents, right?"

"Of course, Leo!" They all eagerly nodded their heads.

Leo sighed and uncrossed his arms.

"Thank you Leo! You're the best!" Donnie pulled him into a hug.

Leo gave a self-loathing growl.

"Don't worry, Leo!" Raph laughed, rubbing his sulking brother's head. "Casey and I are pros at this! What can go wrong?"

* * *

 

_Oh gods, this was such a bad idea! It was foolish and dangerous and why had he even agreed to this?! He was the sober one, he was supposed to keep them safe, and oh gods, they so weren't safe! They were the opposite of safe! It was so noisy in here and there were so many humans everywhere. And lights! Lights beaming everywhere! Somebody was going to see them any minute now! How had nobody noticed them yet?!_

Leo calmly ate another nacho, one leg dangling over the steel beam as he watched the two heavily muscled and gleaming human men in bright colorful spandex below thump their chests and lunge at one another, while both of their partners hung on the ropes and yelled in encouragements while occasionally trying to take swipes at their opponents.

_And why were they hiding up in the rigging right over the ring?! Sure, Raph and Casey said that nobody would notice them up there, but they were drunk! What did they know?!_

Honestly, he didn't understand what his brothers saw in these wrestling games. Sure, it involved a surprisingly high level of physical strength, agility, and skill, but the whole thing was so staged and cheesy, and, to Leo's expert and critical eye, few of the moves were actually viable in real combat situations.

_If they were going to do something this stupid, at least he should've insisted that they hid somewhere waaaay back in the corner, there were more shadows back there and better escape routes. Out here, they were right above the main event, there were so many lights below them, and there were so many humans down there! Hundreds of them! Somebody was going to see them! This was a bad idea, and he was the worst leader and big brother ever for letting his family get into such a dangerous situation!_

"Leo." Raph absently thumped him on the back of the head. "Quite freaking out. Nobody's going to see us up here."

"I am a highly trained ninja and the leader of our clan. I do not 'freak out'." Leo glared at him.

_He was freaking out! He was so very much freaking out!_

He rigidly and deliberately turned back to watch the humans wrestling below. "I am the very picture of calm, a butterfly upon the stone."

"Sure." Raph snorted and shoved a paper tray filled with chips and melted cheese at him. "Eat some more nachos."

"Hey! _HEY!_ Ref! Are you blind?!" Donnie snarled amidst the crowd's roar of delight, standing behind Leo and leaning down on his older brother's head with both hands as he protested. "That was interference right there!"

"Donnie! Quiet! Somebody will hear you!" Leo hissed, pushing his brother's heavy hands off of his face and readjusting his blue mask so he could see. He grabbed the purple genius by the arm and pulled him down to a sitting position on the steel support beam next to him. "Sit down!"

"But Leo!" Donnie complained, gesturing drunkenly towards the ring located below them. "The match was clearly stated to be only between Max Riot and The Jackel, but The Flea obviously snuck a punch in when they were up against the ropes! Interference by his brother is clearly against the rules!" He huffily sat back against to the cardboard cutout of the science show hostess propped up against a beam next to him.

"It's wrestling, Donnie." Leo stated with a sigh. "It's in the script for that to happen."

"Are you calling wrestling fake?!" Mikey looked at him scandalized. "Boo, Leo! Boooo! Bad form!"

"You know, they have weekly shows here." Casey watched the wresting match going on below with drunken glee. "We should really check these out more often."

"NO!" Leo snapped around a little more panicked then he had intended. He forced himself to take a breath and act more natural. "No. This is not going to become a regular affair. It's far too risky. This is just one time thing for Donnie, for his bachelor party."

Raph scoffed and took another swig of his beer. "Yeah. Right. We all know how it'll play out. Mikey only needs to follow Leo around with his big old Puppy Dog eyes, and Leo will start to feel all guilty and cave within minutes. We'll be back up here before you know it."

Leo narrowed his eyes at Raph and slowly but sternly ate a nacho chip.

"Hey! HEY! Don't you... don't you dare! I see that folding chair! You put that back down right now young man!" Donnie shouted, lunging forward onto Leo's head once more as he shook his finger angrily and more then a little drunkenly down at Max Riot's former-rival-turned-partner, Goon Blade.

"Oooooooh..." Mikey, Raph, and Casey winced along with the crowd's roar of delight as Goon Blade smashed said chair over The Flea's shoulders.

Leo growled and wiggled his head free, before adjusting his bandana so he could see (again), and glared up at his drunk purple brother. "Donnie! If you keep yelling like that, then we're leaving. Somebody's going to hear you!"

"But Leo! Clearly this is an egregious breach of sparring etiquette!" Donnie gestured in horror. "I'm shocked that you of all people are not more offended by this display!

"It's Wrestling, Donnie." Leo sighed.

"Say, do you think I should run down and get some more beers?" Casey peeked into the cooler. "We're down to only two."

"Oh! I'll take one of those, actually." Donnie was distracted from the fight below, instead turning his attention to the hockey player.

"I'm not sure..." Leo started to say, but Donnie waved him off.

"I haven't had too many, don't worry." The purple brother started moving unsteadily across the support beam. "And the night's still young! There's nothing to worry about Le-OH!" Suddenly his foot caught on a cord and he staggered forward, arms flailing to catch his balance.

"Donnie! No!" Leo lunged from where he was sitting and managed to catch him by the arm and push him upright, but in the effort, he over-extended himself and quickly lost his own balance.

He had a single moment of crystal clear realization that he was going to fall, and there was nothing that he could do to stop it. Then he were tumbling down through the air in a two story drop towards the concrete floor below.

" _LEO!_ "

Reacting more on instinct then anything, Leo twisted about, yanked out his grapple gun and fired. The hook shot out, caught on a ceiling support beam, and then the rope went taunt. Leo swung down and across the wrestling ring, missing the platform floor by mere inches, brushing past the shocked wrestlers and referee, before finally slamming into the padded turnbuckles anchoring the rope to the corner post. Leo lost his grip on the handle of his grapple gun on impact and yelped as he landed in a heap in the corner of the ring.

There was a moment of stunned silence in the entire building.

The audience murmured, the huge, heavily muscled wrestlers an the ref looked at one another, confused, and the announcer merely stammered and stuttered on the mike. Apparently, everybody was trying to figure out if a humanoid turtle creature crashing down in the middle of a fight was part of the show or not.

Leo pushed himself up into a sitting position and scooted back until his shell hit rope. As a ninja who thrived in shadows and a mutant who depended on secrecy, this situation was an absolute nightmare come true. He was exposed, out in the open, he could feel the heat of all the lights trained on him, and there were so many humans staring at him!

The wrestlers glanced at one another uncertainly, then The Jackel apparently got up enough courage to bristle up and take a threatening step towards Leo.

Suddenly a green and red blur dropped out from the ceiling as well, landing with such a heavy impact that it made the whole ring shudder.

Another turtle, this one HUGE and wearing a red mask, landed in a crouching position, right between Leo and the wrestlers.

He slowly straightened up to his full imposing height of six foot four, easily matching the large wrestlers for size and muscles, and gave the humans a dangerous curl of his lip that was something between an eager smirk and a snarl. "You ain't touching my brother."

The Jackel stopped and swallowed hard.

A rope dropped down, and Donnie, carrying a cardboard cutout of Katie, and Mikey, with a hockey-masked Casey tucked under his arm, slid down, landing besides Raph. Mikey set the human upright, and the room still sat in stunned silence, watching the three turtles and their human stood protectively around the prone blue turtle, facing off against the four wrestlers staring at them warily.

"Guys! No!" Leo hissed, licking his lips nervously as his eyes darted around at all the humans. He pulled himself up into a crouch. "You should have kept hidden and escaped! I could have gotten out of this!"

"And missed this amazing, once in a lifetime opportunity?" Casey sounded like he was grinning widely under that mask, and he gave Leo a wink. "All these years of watching wrestling are finally going to pay off! Watch a master!"

* * *

 

Leo, the only one who _wasn't_ drunk to the gills, felt like throwing up.

"I can't believe that they actually bought the story that we were costumed wrestlers!" Donnie was obviously running high off of the adrenaline rush. "That... was... AMAZING!"

"Dudes, you killed it back there!" Casey whooped, jumping in between them to rub their heads. "And, you know, the amount of money the manager was offering for full time gigs..."

"Absolutely not." Leo was not going to let that train of thought go any further.

Mikey tried to persuade him. "Dudes, we're in the wrong line of work! This is obviously our true calling!"

Raph admired the cheaply made champion belt they had won, before reaching over and buckling it around Donnie's waist. "There you go, party boy. Now was that a bachelor party to talk about or what?!"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bah! This chapter almost killed me. So many things wanted to happen, and it kept going on and on and growing more and more chaotic. I didn't want the freaking bachelor party to take over the whole story, but at the same time, I kept thinking of ideas, and snickering. For the good of the story, I finally had to just give up, post what I had done, and give up forever on visiting the zoo, Mikey's obsession with the flamingos, the paint explosion, April meeting the Katie Cut-Out, and a really, REALLY grumpy Leo. From what I've heard, visiting a zoo during a bachelor party has already been done in a movie, though it's one I've missed watching.


End file.
